Proving Your Worthiness

Have you ever had someone bait you during family gets together?  “Come on. Join me in those old patterns you’ve wanted to shed.” Maybe they don't say that out loud, but that's the invitation.

While you try not to let the person get under your skin, somehow you still end up behaving in a way you thought you had left behind long ago. There’s a tone in your voice that shows you are irritated. You can't stop yourself. You stumble backward into an old pattern of conflict.

Why does the other person say these things? Maybe they wants to feel superior. Perhaps they are feel comfortable in that unhealthy relationship with you.

You might have learned to avoid the conflict by being passive. That puts off the problem, setting it aside for the sake of peace.  But it doesn't redefine the relationship. And a healthy relationship should be the goal instead of the absence of conflict.

You could be vulnerable to other people who use the same kind of put-downs or teases or unhealthy behavior. Perhaps you rise and fall as their approval or rejection comes or goes. You may be overly sensitive to the suggestion that you are inadequate, fearful you are "unworthy" of respect. You may be spending a lot of your life bouncing back and forth between working hard to prove worthiness and resenting the need to prove it.

Stephen Goforth