“A desire (or emotion) is turned not to itself but to its object. Not only that, but it owes all its character to its object.. It is the object which makes the desire harsh or sweet, coarse or choice, ‘high’ or ‘low.’ It is the object that makes the desire itself desirable or hateful.”
Those words were penned by CS Lewis.
In other words, if you want to love your wife then concentrate--not on love--but on her.
If you wish more faith in God, do not concentrate on faith. Focus on God.