Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy

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The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone.  

Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. This is misguided. It is unlikely that your actual path through life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out.  

James Clear, Atomic Habits

Acting The Part

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The late Oscar-winning director Sydney Pollack once told me that he was at a loss when he first moved behind the camera, so he simply acted like a director. 

 The feeling of not being up to the job, the belief that the role is too big, is something every leader has felt. It is evidence that the role is greater than the individual—and thus worth taking on. Pollack made the leader's requisite leap into the unknown, accepting the risk of failure that is the first step in becoming a leader—and he excelled. 

That adaptive capacity is the most important attribute in determining who will become a leader. It's also the defining trait of the best actors. Inhabiting roles other than the one most of us think of as self is essential to both. So is the empathy needed to project yourself into someone else's skin.

Like great actors, great leaders create and sell an alternative vision of the world, a better one in which we are an essential part. Philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote that Churchill idealized his countrymen with such intensity that in the end they rose to his ideal. Mahatma Gandhi made India proud of herself. Washington and the other Founding-Fathers shared that great leader's gift of making people believe they could be—and were—part of a great nation. Martin Luther King Jr. had that same genius. 

When you consider such towering and theatrical leaders, you realize leadership may be the greatest performing art of all—the only one that creates institutions of lasting value, institutions that can endure long after the stars who envisioned them have left the theater. 

Warren Bennis, The Essential Bennis

A better option than giving advice

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Giving advice feels good, but it doesn’t empower other people. Experts suggest that instead of telling others what to do, we coach them to find their own solutions. This approach is more motivating and helps others grow. While it takes more time asking questions to guide others into their own answers, doing so lets other people develop independence, increasing their productivity. This also frees you to accomplish more.

How you thought your life would turn out

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You are constantly letting go of who you thought you were and how you thought life would be. You find yourself constantly in the neural zone, unable to recover your old life but equally unable to embrace your new one comfortably. To the extent that you can let go of who you used to be and honor the experience of being in-between lives, you discover a rich and wonderful way of living. There is no beginning that doesn’t require an ending, and no ending that doesn’t make possible a new beginning.

William Bridges, The Way of Transition

what exactly IS "critical thinking"?

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Critical thinking entails at least ten reasoning abilities and habits of thought:

1. Consciously raising the questions “What do we know. . . ?  How do we know . . . ?  Why do we accept or believe. . . ?  What is the evidence for. . . ?”  when studying some body of material or approaching a problem.   

2. Being clearly and explicitly aware of gaps in available information.  Recognizing when a conclusion is reached or a decision made in absence of complete information and being able to tolerate the ambiguity and uncertainty.  Recognizing when one is taking something on faith without having examined the “How do we know. . . ?  Why do we believe. . . ?” questions.

3. Discriminating between observation and inference, between established fact and subsequent conjecture.

4. Recognizing that words are symbols for ideas and not the ideas themselves.  Recognizing the necessity of using only words of prior definition, rooted in shared experience, in forming a new definition and in avoiding being misled by technical jargon

5. Probing for assumption (particularly the implicit, unarticulated assumptions) behind a line of reasoning.

6. Drawing inferences from data, observations, or other evidence and recognizing when firm inferences cannot be drawn.  This subsumes a number of processes such as elementary syllogistic reasoning (e.g., dealing with basic prepositional "if. . .then" statements), correlational reasoning, recognizing when relevant variables have or have not been controlled.

7. Performing hypothetico-deductive reasoning; that is, given a particular situation, applying relevant knowledge of principles and constraints and visualizing, in the abstract, the plausible outcomes that might result from various changes one can imagine to be imposed on the system.

8. Discriminating between inductive and deductive reasoning; that is, being aware when an argument is being made from the particular to the general or from the general to the particular

9. Testing one's own line of reasoning and conclusions for internal consistency and thus developing intellectual self-reliance.

10. Developing self-consciousness concerning one's own thinking and reasoning processes.  

Physicist Arnold Arons, Teaching Introductory Physics 

Goals & Progress

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Many runners work hard for months, but as soon as they cross the finish line, they stop training. The race is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress. 

James Clear, Atomic Habits

89-year-old pizza delivery driver gets surprise $12K tip

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