pretending
/Men know what women really want. They want us to pretend to be vulnerable. We get really good at pretending. —Joe Reynolds
ideas that challenge / comfort / inspire
Within Arms Reach
/Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.
The people who love me and will be there regardless of the outcome are within arms reach.
This realization changed everything. That's the wife and mother and friend that I now strive to be. I want our home to be a place where we can be our bravest selves are most fearful selves. Where we practice difficult conversations and share our shaming moments from school and work. I want to look at Steve and my kids and say, “I'm with you I'm in the arena. And when we fail, we’ll fail together, while daring greatly.”
We simply can't learn to be more vulnerable and courageous on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support.
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
Articles of Interest - Jan 29
/***SOCIAL MEDIA
Here's What Facebook's Local News And Events Section Looks Like, Live In Action BuzzFeed News
‘Never get high on your own supply’ – why social media bosses don’t use social media The Guardian
Twitter is reportedly working on a new video tool that sounds a lot like Snapchat
The Follower Factory: Buying Fake Twitter Followers New York Times
Which Publishers Benefit Most from Facebook’s News Feed Change? Media Shift
Instagram won’t comment on rumored video calling feature Tech Crunch
***SOCIAL MEDIA: SNAPCHAT
Snapchat Stories Can Now Live Outside the App Wired
Snap is making it easier for people to watch Snapchat videos, even if they don’t have an account Recode
Snapchat will now allow you to share and watch videos outside its app LA Times
***MOBILE
Keep Your Head Up: How Smartphone Addiction Kills Manners and Moods New York Times
***INTERNET
Here's Why Your Gmail Icon Might Be Blue Now BuzzFeed News
***TECHNOLOGY
Every study we could find on what automation will do to jobs, in one chart MIT Technology Review
You Can't Fool YouTube's Copyright Bots Life Hacker
Google began selling its Clips camera today The Verge
***JOURNALISM
Man arrested, accused of threatening to kill CNN employees The Hill
Tech Is Starting to Lose Its War on Journalism (opinion) Bloomberg
Investigation by 'Indianapolis Star' hailed as proof of local journalism's impact USA Today
Freelance writers win new $100,000 journalism prize News Observer
Google tests Bulletin app for crowdsourced, hyperlocal news Money Mag
'Video journalism forces you to go the extra mile' The Guardian
Prosecutor praises newspaper that exposed doctor’s abuse Associated Press
The Untold Story of the Pentagon Papers Co-Conspirators The New Yorker
Trust In Media, Social Platforms Dips, Traditional Journalism Rises Media Post
***THE BUSINESS OF JOURNALISM
The Libraries Bringing Small-Town News Back to Life The Atlantic
As Local Media Dies, Google Pilots A Program For Unpaid Citizen Journalists Fast Company
Turmoil at the Los Angeles Times is getting ugly and frightening LA Observed
Over 75% of NPR's staff is white, same as the last six years NPR
Why Social Media Editors Should be Better Integrated into Newsrooms PBS Media Shift
***FAKE NEWS
Pope warns against 'fake news' and likens it to 'crafty serpent' in Genesis CNN
What the Pope Gets Wrong About Fake News Politico
The era of “truth decay”: 12 things we still don’t know about our weird time Harvard’s Nieman Lab
***BIG DATA & AI
Is “Murder by Machine Learning” the New “Death by PowerPoint”? Harvard Business Review
Twitter is using machine learning to crop photos to the most interesting part The Verge
Deep learning vs. machine learning: what's the difference between the two? Digital Trends
Are You Setting Your Data Scientists Up to Fail by not putting them in the right spots? Harvard Business Review
Google’s AutoML promises to help you create machine learning models even if you lack programming experience Extreme Tech
Forget About Siri and Alexa: When It Comes to Voice Identification, the “NSA Reigns Supreme” The Intercept
***PERSONAL GROWTH
Risk aversion kills innovation Becoming (my blog)
The Dangers Of Thinking Too Much And Thinking Too Little Digg
3 Timeless Rules for Making Tough Decisions Harvard Business Review
Retraction Heroes Magzter
What to Say When You Meet the Angel of Death at a Party: After years of living with stage IV cancer, I have some suggestions New York Times
***GRAMMAR
One East Village Bar is Banning The Word 'Literally' From Its Venue NBC New York
***WRITING & READING
I Copied the Routines of Famous Writers and It Sucked Vice
Bonehead Guidance for Would-Be Novelists Chronicle of Higher Ed
Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch is a terrible writer (opinion) Slate
***LANGUAGE
Misusing “Pretentious” Chronicle of Higher Ed
How many are in “a couple (of)” Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LITERATURE
Why Virginia Woolf remains one of literature's most alluring writers Telegraph
The second volume of John Ashbery’s collected poems is a tribute Economist
How to Spot a Communist Using Literary Criticism: A 1955 Manual from the U.S. Military Open Culture
“A Wrinkle in Time” Author Madeleine L’Engle on Self-Consciousness and the Wellspring of Creativity Brain Pickings
***GENDER
The Dangers of Keeping Women out of Tech Magzter
Southern Illinois University Athletics found non-compliant with Title IX regulations Daily Egyptian (student newspaper)
***RACE & ETHNICITY ISSUES
To attract more blacks and Hispanics to STEM, universities must address racial issues on campus Hechinger Report
Key facts about black immigrants in the U.S. Pew Research Center
When Dreamers and black colleges meet, American success stories are made The Hill
Should Students Be Expelled for Posting Racist Videos? Chronicle of Higher Ed
***FREE SPEECH
The End of Academe: Free Speech and the Silencing of Dissent (opinion) Chronicle of Higher Ed
Court rejects Pierce College’s attempt to dismiss lawsuit against its tiny ‘free speech zone’ The FIRE
It's the (Democracy-Poisoning) Golden Age of Free Speech Wired
***LEGAL ISSUES
Grumpy Cat wins $710,000 payout in copyright lawsuit BBC News
Song Publisher Agrees "We Shall Overcome" Is in Public Domain in Legal Settlement Hollywood Reporter
Even a Divided Congress Can Agree on Copyright Billboard
James Woods' Use of a Question Mark Helps Him Beat Defamation Lawsuit Over Tweet Hollywood Reporter
Actors’ union argues First Amendment protection isn't absolute and docudrama filmmakers have an obligation to "exercise caution" when depicting a living individual Hollywood Reporter
***BUSINESS
How bad decision making could undermine good innovation Tech Crunch
***RELIGION
Southern Baptist Convention added as defendant in Pressler lawsuit Baptist Press
Amid #MeToo, Evangelicals Grapple With Misconduct In Their Own Churches NPR
Rob Bell is the subject of a new documentary titled The Heretic Christian Today
Poll found 0% of Icelanders under 25 believe Bible creation story Digital Journal
Are White Evangelicals Sacrificing The Future In Search Of The Past? FiveThirtyEight
American religious groups vary widely in their views of abortion Pew Research Center
The share of Americans who leave Islam offset by Muslim converts Pew Research Center
How the Photographer of a Snake-Handling Pastor Handled the Bite That Killed Him Patheos
Across U.S., LGBTQ Christians try to change hearts and minds from the pews NBC News
***RELIGION AND POLITICS
The evangelical muscle of Trump (opinion) The Week
Editor in chief of Christianity Today: Falwell’s defense of Trump is “twisted” (opinion) Christianity Today
White House Bible study comes under fire Miami OK
In the wake of porn-star allegations, most evangelicals stand by Trump Washington Post
***ART & DESIGN
Watch how kids and pro artists draw differently based on eye tracking BongBong
Can Art Help People Develop Empathy? Daily Jstor
How Did Michelangelo Get So Good? Daily Jstor
***MUSIC
Why Vinyl Matters: Nick Hornby on Records, High Reverb News
Study: People Listen To Songs From Other Cultures And Guess: Lullaby, Dance Song, Love Song? NPR
After The Vinyl Revival, The Vinyl-Playing Jukebox Is Back NPR
Artificial Intelligence Writes a Piece in the Style of Bach: Can You Tell the Difference Between JS Bach and AI Bach? Open Culture
***RELATIONSHIPS
Her son came out. She called a gay bar for advice. The delightful convo went viral Upworthy
What Kind of Screen Time Parent Are You? Take This Quiz And Find Out NPR
***STUDENT MEDIA
This Student Newspaper Let A Nazi Sympathizer Write For Them BuzzFeed News
Students re-publish article about teacher's firing after school deleted it The Washington Post
***STUDENT LIFE
Millennials think they're bad at managing money, even when they're not Quartz
Study shows drop-off in religious interests of new college students Inside Higher Ed
Teen explorer makes sandwich for sexist trolls – and leaves it at the South Pole Metro
College student hunger: How access to food can impact grades, mental health Journalism Resources
China's millennials are triggering a luxury-goods market boom Quartz
Virginia University of Lynchburg panel draws little student feedback following fall semester protests News Advance
Temporarily reinstated, Christian University of Iowa student club glad to be back recruiting Iowa City Press-Citizen
Some 250 Ohio College Students End Sit-In Over Diversity on Campus US News
Report asserts that bundled textbooks cost students too much; publishers dispute findings Inside Higher E
Lesbians and bisexual girls are more likely to be suspended, expelled Journalism Resources
White Supremacist UCSD Student Disrupts Lecture The Triton
Will millennials kill Costco? Washington Post
***JOBS & INTERNSHIPS
Facebook is offering scholarships to journalism students CNET
Apply for NAHJ Facebook Journalism Project scholarship
These tools will save, highlight and share your best work Poynter
***SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT
U. of Arizona Provost Steps Down After Suit Claims ‘Demeaning’ Treatment of Female Deans Chronicle of Higher Ed
Michigan State University fans wear teal in support of sexual abuse victims CBS News
***ACADEMIC LIFE
Former Feinberg Prof. discusses sexuality, academic freedom Daily Northwestern
***HEALTH
Livers for transplant can now be kept alive at body temperature Economist
9 out of 10 Dentists Recommend You Toss the Floss Study Breaks
An ER visit, a $12,000 bill — and a health insurer that wouldn’t pay Vox
Most Americans Can’t Afford A Minor Emergency Huffington Post
***SCIENCE
Sequencing the world: How to map the DNA of all known plants and animal species on Earth Economist
***PSYCHOLOGY
Staying Awake Is A Surprisingly Effective Way To Treat Depression Digg
***PHILOSOPHY
The problem with Ayn Rand? She isn't a philosopher Big Think
***PRODUCTIVITY
Time is a human invention that controls how we work Quartz
***RESEARCH
iPS research fraud points up challenges for research ethics (opinion) The Asahi Shimbun
Robust research needs many lines of evidence Nature
At Harvard, developing software to spot misused images in science Elsevier
Why are we continuing to allow paper journal formats to mangle our science? The Grumpy Geophysicist
Read the Shortest Academic Article Ever Written: “The Unsuccessful Self-Treatment of a Case of ‘Writer’s Block'” Open Culture
***HIGHER ED
Outlook for Higher Ed in 2018 Is Bleak, Ratings Agency Says Chronicle of Higher Ed
How College May Actually Limit Students’ Exposure to Different Religions Chronicle of Higher Ed
Who Has the Most Student Debt? The Wealthiest, a New Analysis Finds Chronicle of Higher Ed
Mizzou considers phasing out more than two dozen graduate programs St Louis Post-Dispatch
Moody Bible Spokane faculty starting new Christian college Spokesman
***TEACHING
The Benefits of Having Students Do It Wrong Chronicle of Higher Ed
Study finds students come up with many ideas in courses that meet midday Inside Higher Ed
Creating Your Own Attendance “App” with Google Forms Chronicle of Higher Ed
Risk aversion kills innovation
/The secret killer of innovation is shame. You can't measure it, but it is there. Every time someone holds back on a new idea, fails to give their manager must needed feedback, and is afraid to speak up in front of a client you can be sure that shame played a part. That deep fear we all have of being wrong, of being belittled and of feeling less than, is what stops us taking the very risks required to move our companies forward.
If you want a culture of creativity and innovation, where sensible risks are embraced on both a market and individual level, start by developing the ability of managers to cultivate an openness to vulnerability in their teams. And this, paradoxically perhaps, requires first that they are vulnerable themselves.
This notion that the leader needs to be “in charge” and to “know all the answers” is both dated and destructive. Its impact on others I the sense that they know less, and that they are less than. A recipe for risk aversion if ever I have heard it. Shame becomes fear. Fear leads to risk aversion . Risk aversion kills innovation.
Peter Sheaham
room in your heart
/Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. Winnie The Pooh
speak when you are angry..
/Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce
Gratitude and Self-Control
/Studies from my lab show that gratitude directly increases self-control.
Our research also shows that when we make people feel grateful, they’ll spend more time helping anyone who asks for assistance, they’ll make financial decisions that benefit partners equally (rather than ones that allow profit at a partner’s expense), and they’ll show loyalty to those who have helped them even at costs to themselves.
What these findings show is that pride, gratitude and compassion, whether we consciously realize it or not, reduce the human mind’s tendency to discount the value of the future. In so doing, they push us not only to cooperate with other people but also to help our own future selves. Feeling pride or compassion has been shown to increase perseverance on difficult tasks by over 30 percent. Likewise, gratitude and compassion have been tied to better academic performance, a greater willingness to exercise and eat healthily, and lower levels of consumerism, impulsivity and tobacco and alcohol use.
If using willpower causes stress, using these emotions actually heals: They slow heart rate, lower blood pressure and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. By making us value the future more, they ease the way to patience and perseverance.
Perhaps most important, while these emotions enhance self-control, they also combat another problem of modern life: loneliness. From 1985 to 2004, the percentage of people who reported having at least one friend on whom they could rely and with whom they could discuss important matters dropped to 57 percent from 80 percent. Today, more than half of all Americans report feeling lonely, especially in their professional lives. But study after study has shown that those who are seen as grateful, warm and justifiably confident draw others to them. Because these emotions automatically make us less selfish, they help ensure we can form relationships with people who will be there to support us when we need it.
Cultivating the social emotions maximizes both our “résumé virtues” (those that underlie professional success) and our “eulogy virtues” (those for which we want to be remembered). In nudging the mind to be more patient and more selfless, they benefit everyone whom our decisions impact, including our own future selves. In short, they give us not only grit but also grace.
So as 2018 commences, take more time to cultivate these emotions. Reflect on what you’re grateful to have been given. Allow your mind to step into the shoes of those in need and feel for them. Take pride in the small achievements on the path to your goals.
David DeSteno writing in the New York Times
that's just who I am
/“Sorry, but that is the way I am.. I was like this in the beginning, am now, and ever shall be…” is a handy motto and delusion to hang around your neck when you don’t want to grow up.
Articles of Interest - Jan 22
/***PRODUCING MEDIA
Photo format from Google and Mozilla could outdo Apple and JPEG CNET
This tool makes editing podcasts just as easy as editing text Poynter
How charities are harnessing the power of VR The Daily Dot
***SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media is making you miserable. Here’s how to delete your accounts PopSci
How to prepare for the removal of publisher posts from Facebook’s news feed Medium
Hard Questions: Social Media and Democracy Facebook Newsroom
Here’s why people on Twitter are seeing news alerts that they didn’t ask for Recode
Saving Our Children From Smartphones Monday Note
***MOBILE
Fake apps can steal your information. Here's how to detect them Poynter
Ways to keep your data safe while traveling Tech Republic
***INTERNET
Which email greeting generates the best response rate? The Atlas
***TECHNOLOGY
The era of the cloud’s total dominance is drawing to a close The Economist
Top Tech books of 2017: Part I Wired
The Top Tech Books of 2017: Part II Wired
Are programs better than people at predicting reoffending? The short answer is that the two are about the same The Economist
***JOURNALISM
Everything you need to know about FOIA Washington Post (FB page video)
Mr. President: Stop Attacking the Press (by Sen. John McCain) MSNBC
Many in other countries follow news about US closely Pew Research Center
Dealing with the word 's***hole' Union Tribune
Southern California is about to experience a journalism vacuum Medium
Quiz: How well can you identify news trends? Washington Post
Eight journalists enter 2018 facing criminal charges RTDNA
There's hope for journalism in the digital age, says Bloomberg's co-founder The National
As technology develops, so must journalists’ codes of ethics The Guardian
BuzzFeed is asking readers for questions about the news BuzzFeed News
The biggest risk to American journalism isn't posed by Trump The Guardian
***JOURNALISM: THE MOVIE “THE POST”
‘The Post’ inspiration even for those not working in media College Media Review
Pitts: ‘The Post’ offers a timely reminder of what journalism is all about Mercury News
***THE BUSINESS OF JOURNALISM
Accusations Of 'Frat House' Behavior Trail 'LA Times' Publisher's Career NPR
Editorial backing Trump in ‘shithole’ controversy sparks outrage among newspaper staff Politico
Why I’m Done Working In Sports Journalism Medium
HuffPost: The End Of Citizen Journalism? Forbes
***FAKE NEWS
A dangerous fake news story about flu shots spread like a virus on Facebook Fast Company
Americans See More News Bias; Most Can't Name Neutral Source Gallup
Who Do Americans Believe Is the Most Objective News Source? Ad Week
The (almost) complete history of 'fake news' BBC
San Diego Library to Combat ‘Fake News’ with Workshop Series Times of San Diego
Tech Companies Working On Fixes For Fake News As Midterms Approach NP
***BIG DATA & AI
Algorithms Are Opinions Embedded in Code Scholarly Kitchen
Five of the most innovative use cases for machine learning coming to your business life sooner than you think Entrepreneur
NGIA staffers are concerned that AI is not yet advanced enough to truly replace most aspects of human analysis Business Insider
Does Big Data Belong in Courtrooms? Research shows even the best algorithms are no better than humans at predicting recidivism—& neither are very good Pacific Standard
After decades of AI being viewed as a "future" concept, is it time for your org to finally invest real dollars for real AI applications? Information Week
Data integrity is becoming all the more important in analysis and validation KD Nuggets
***REALLY?
This TV Interview Of A Burglary Suspect Should Be In The News Blooper Hall Of Fame Digg
Florida Man Arrested For Fried Chicken Attack On His Girlfriend The Smoking Gun
Doughnut-eating contest winner arrested again after doughnut shop robbery Pilot Online
Lighthearted vigil for burned down Taco Bell draws more than 100 Press Herald
***PERSONAL GROWTH
This is Daring Greatly Becoming (my blog)
How To Tell If You've Had An Emotionally Healthy Childhood Digg
***GRAMMAR
Following Up on ‘Off Of’ Chronicle of Higher Ed
The Quotable Guide to Punctuation is entirely devoted to the deployment of punctuation marks Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LANGUAGE
When Is a New Word New? It’s harder than ever nowadays to decide whether a coinage is really new Chronicle of Higher Ed
Personal pronouns are changing fast: How transgender rights are changing language The Economist
Naughty Words: Language’s power to shock is one of its strongest weapons, so what happens after we don’t blink an eye? Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LITERATURE
A timely history of poop jokes in English Chronicle of Higher Ed
Life Lessons From Chinese Children's Books Differ From Those In The U.S. NPR
The Lost Giant of American Literature: A major black novelist made a remarkable début. How did he disappear? The New Yorker
***GENDER
Gender Bias, by the Numbers Inside Higher Ed
***RACE & ETHNICITY ISSUES
The Race Beat, Revisited Harvard’s Nieman Reports
Key findings about U.S. immigrants Pew Research Center
***FREE SPEECH
A Forgotten First Amendment Hero New York Law Journal
Fox Argues Muhammad Ali Super Bowl Segment Is Free Speech Hollywood Reporter
The End of Academe: Free Speech and the Silencing of Dissent Chronicle of Higher Ed
Court rejects LA College’s attempt to dismiss lawsuit against its tiny ‘free speech zone’ The FIRE
***LEGAL ISSUES
Justice Department Sides With Archdiocese in Lawsuit Against Metro Washingtonian
As Super Bowl Approaches, Be Careful what you say about the Game Broadcast Law Blog
Has This Court Decision Rendered the Creative Commons License Unenforceable? Office of Copyright
These Trump Tweets Are ‘Not Law,’ Harvard Law Review Study Says National Law Journal
Breakthrough brings non-addictive opioid alternatives a step closer The Guardian
How Donald Trump Could Mess With Libel Laws Hollywood Reporter
***RELIGION
Gospel Singer Kidnapped, Beaten and Robbed Knox News
Mile High City plays host to Gay Christian Network conference Denver Post
Hobby Lobby Surrenders 245 More Iraq Artifacts From Smuggled Cache to Federal Government Newsweek
Popular pastor at North Park University is suspended for officiating gay wedding Chicago Tribune
Mysterious Dead Sea Scroll deciphered in Israel BBC
Satanic Temple challenges Missouri’s abortion law on religious grounds NBC News
American religious groups vary widely in their views of abortion Pew Research
***RELIGION AND POLITICS
'$*!*holes' sign outside Dallastown church is about theology, not politics, pastor says York Daily Record
Former President Carter writing book about religious faith Associated Press
Madison-based group sues HUD, Ben Carson over records on White House Bible study Wisconsin Gazette
The religious activists on the rise inside Trump's health department Politico
The Trump evangelicals have lost their gag reflex (opinion) Washington Post
***MEGACHURCH PASTORS & TELEVANGELISTS
Luis Palau Reveals Stage 4 Lung Cancer, Asks for Prayer Christianity Today
Interview with Megachurch pastor edited to hide what he said about sexual encounter with teen The Wartburg Watch
***ART & DESIGN
10,000 Classic Movie Posters Getting Digitized & Put Online Open Culture
The Artist Transporting Figures from Art History into Modern Life Artsy
Enroll in Seven Free Courses From the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) Open Culture
***MUSIC
Benny Goodman Takes Jazz From The Nightclubs To The Concert Halls NPR
25 Essential Music Podcasts Pigeons and Planes Pigeons and Planes
A YouTube Channel Completely Devoted to Medieval Sacred Music: Hear Gregorian Chant, Byzantine Chant & More Open Culture
Is Vinyl’s Comeback Here to Stay? Pitchfork
***THE BUSINESS OF MEDIA
When the President Uses a Profanity, What Can Broadcast News Do? Broadcast Law Blog
As TV viewership changes, TV newsrooms must too RTDNA
How Small Publishers Can Survive and Thrive After Facebook’s News Feed Change PBS Media Shift
***STUDENT MEDIA
Student newspaper story about new university president shakes the campus community The Ithacan
***STUDENT LIFE
Amazon's Bezos to give $33M for 1,000 Dreamer scholarships Politico
Eclipsed by urban counterparts, rural nonwhites go to college at equally low rates Hechinger Report
'Adolescence now lasts from 10 to 24' BBC News
Study: Millennials are more likely than Gen Xers to be perfectionists Quartz
Students should be paid to study Huff Post
***SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT
'Beauty Myth' Writer Says Yale Blocked Harassment Claim against famed literary critic and English professor Harold Bloom New York Times
Many People With Intellectual Disabilities Face Sexual Abuse; Two Therapists Discuss The Impact NPR
In Their Words, Adults With Intellectual Disabilities Tell Their Sexual Assault Stories NPR
The #MeToo movement arrives in China The Economist
#MeToo shakes sports industry Sports Business Daily
How #MeToo really was different, according to data Washington Post
***SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT ON CAMPUS
Yale settles with student who cited false sex-assault claim Associated Press
Title IX Failures: Buffalo State failed to investigate an alleged sexual assault or respond to a female athlete’s requests Inside Higher Ed
***ACADEMIC LIFE
Ph.D.s Are Still Writing Poorly, Part 3 Chronicle of Higher Ed
U. of Arizona Provost Steps Down After Suit Claims ‘Demeaning’ Treatment of Female Deans Chronicle of Higher Ed
***BUSINESS
Something doesn’t ad up about America’s advertising market The Economist
Our Big Mac index shows fundamentals now matter more in currency markets The Economist
Photos: Here’s what the new Amazon Go cashierless convenience store looks like Recode
***HEALTH
NPR’s story on weight loss surgery in teens: Cost info would have improved a well-reported story Health News Review
What Fitbit's 6 billion nights of sleep data reveals about us Yahoo News
NY Times ‘Well’ section continues to mislead readers — this time on facial exercises that ‘may make you look 3 years younger’ Health News Review
Breakthrough brings non-addictive opioid alternatives a step closer The Guardian
How well can you predict the outcome of clinical trials? Not as well as you may think Stat News
***HEALTH: THE FLU
A Flu Pandemic Today Could Kill As Many As 80 Million People Scientific American
Confusion reigns on Good Morning America’s ‘complementary natural’ flu remedies report Health News Review
As Flu Season Strains Hospitals, Doctor Offers Advice For How To Stay Healthy NPR
How to Avoid Getting the Flu on an Airplane Life Hacker
The Flu Pandemic of 1918, As Reported in 1918 Jstor
***FAMILY
Raising a Social-Media Star: The parents of teen internet celebrities get a crash course in a new kind of fame The Atlantic
The diabolical genius of the baby advice industry The Guardian
How To Parent From Prison And Other Advice For Life Inside NPR
How to Raise a ProdigyCan achievement be engineered? The New Yorker
***SCIENCE
For the first time, China has overtaken the US in terms of the total number of science publications Nature
Many interested in environment see following science news as a duty Pew Research Center
The Rise and Fall of China’s Science Superstar Sixth Tone
***PSYCHOLOGY
Is everything you think you know about depression wrong? The Guardian
***PHILOSOPHY
Wall Street's Bill Miller gave Johns Hopkins' philosophy department $75 million Quartz
Investor's $75M gift to Johns Hopkins said to be largest ever to a philosophy department USA Today
Philosopher of the month: Jean-Jacques Rousseau OUP Blog
Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Handwritten Syllabus & Final Exam for the Philosophy Course He Taught at Morehouse College Open Culture
***PRODUCTIVITY
Want to Fall Asleep Faster? Add This Tweak To Your Bedtime Routine Mental Floss
Daniel Pink's 'When' Shows the Importance Of Timing Throughout Life NPR
***ETHICS
As news outlets ramp up their use of native advertising, the industry must set ground rules and establish a common code of ethics Harvard's Nieman Report
***RESEARCH
Retracted Publications in Mental Health Literature: Discovery across Bibliographic Platforms Journal of Liberianship & Scholarly Communication
A journal has canceled a special issue after it discovered the guest editor provided fake credentials The Scientist
Pressure to publish in the biomedical scientific field: Ethical conflicts or a possible obsessive-compulsive disorder? European Journal of Internal Medicine
A paper showing how to make a smallpox cousin just got published. Critics wonder why Science Mag
HHS Delays Compliance Date for Revised Common Rule Ropes & Gray
Malaysia launches a new national Code of Responsible Conduct in Research New Straits Times
Make replication studies ‘a normal and essential part of science,’ Dutch science academy says Science Mag
Hey, here’s a new reason for a journal to reject a paper: it’s “annoying” that it’s already on a preprint server Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science
A New Citation Database Launches Today: Digital Science’s Dimensions Scholarly Kitchen
***HIGHER ED
Let Ferpa Be Ferpa: Colleges have used Ferpa to prevent the release of newsworthy information Chronicle of Higher Ed
Why admissions at elite colleges aren’t really about merit Market Watch
Is Gov. Brown's proposal for a public online community college a good idea? Some educators say LA Times
The Biggest Problem for State Higher-Ed Policy? Federal Higher-Ed Policy Chronicle of Higher Ed
Title IX Failures: Buffalo State failed to investigate an alleged sexual assault Inside Higher Ed
How One University Is Trying to ‘Create a Space for Listening’ Chronicle of Higher Ed
International Student Numbers Decline Inside Higher Ed
Hooters opens soon in Abilene. One Christian university is less than thrilled Star-Telegram
Christian university where 'safe spaces' are banned opens in Boston Independent
***TEACHING
Why You Should Ask Students to Help Design Courses Chronicle of Higher Ed
To ban or not to ban: Teachers grapple with forcing students to disconnect from technology Washington Post
The 4 Reasons Why Every College Student Should Become an Instructor StudyBreaks
Tracking down hired pens used to be hard: Now Students have Twitter Chronicle of Higher Ed
The “Uh Oh” Effect
/Resist the “uh oh” effect. Midpoints—of work projects and training regiments can either discourage (the oh no” effect) or motivate (“oh no, time's running out”). UCLA researchers studying teamwork found that the majority of groups did almost no work until halfway to the deadline then suddenly buckled down. Set interim goals and adopt the “chain” technique: Pick a task and mark a calendar with an X every day you do it—the string of X’s serves as an incentive.
Aaron Fernandez writing in Wired Magazine
Articles of Interest - Jan 15
/***SOCIAL MEDIA
Here’s how to make sure Facebook shows you the content you want: You can beat the algorithm Recode
Facebook chooses friends over publishers Axios
How to post a still frame of a video to Instagram cNet
This Is the Data Snapchat Doesn’t Want You to See The Daily Beast
***SOCIAL MEDIA: ADDICTION
Study finds narcissists like fellow narcissists on Instagram PsyPost
I deleted Facebook off my phone and you should too Mashable
Are we raising digital monsters? Union Tribune
Cutting adolescents’ use of social media will not solve their problems Economist
Parents’ Biggest Dilemma: When to Give Children Smartphones WSJ (sub req’d)
When will social media companies get serious about their effect on young kids? (opinion) Quartz
***MOBILE
The Joy of Predictive Text Chronicle of Higher Ed
***THE INTERNET
The Supreme Court could soon clear the way for states to impose new online sales taxes Recode
***THE BUSINESS OF MEDIA
Digital media companies are headed for a crash, Hearst Magazines president David Carey says Recode
Media Organizations Grapple With the New Facebook The New York Times
Facebook feed change sacrifices time spent and news outlets for ‘well-being’ Tech Crunch
Axios Media Trends Axios
***JOURNALISM
After Donald Trump Said It, How News Outlets Handled It New York Times
Terry Gross, In Conversation Vulture
A Crash Course in Breitbart’s Conspiracy Journalism (video) The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper
Why NPR Decided To Spell Out And Say Vulgar Word Used By President Trump NPR
Trying to decide if you should publish that dirty word? Here's a step-by-step guide Poynter
It’s not “citizen journalism,” but it is “citizens taking notes at public meetings with no reporters around” Harvard’s Nieman Lab
Five Tips For Creating A Reporter Reel Newsroom Notes
After Donald Trump Said It, How News Outlets Handled It New York Times
10 resolutions for newsroom managers in 2018 Columbia Journalism Review
'The Post' reminds us of journalism's responsibility, legacy Chicago Tribune
***THE BUSINESS OF JOURNALISM
WaPo hits 2nd year of profitability, plans expansion Axios
The top 10 newspaper publications in the US Muck Rack
Among U.S. Latinos, the internet now rivals television as a source for news Pew Research
How virtual reality could change the journalism industry PBS
***FAKE NEWS
Trump’s ‘Fake News Awards’ could violate ethics rules Politco
***TECHNOLOGY
CRISPR hits a snag: Our immune systems may attack the treatment Stat News
Robotic Implants Could Help Remedy a Rare Birth Defect Discover Magazine
Meet the Woman Using CRISPR to Breed All-Male “Terminator Cattle”Gene editing can change an animal’s sex MIT Tech Review
Artificial intelligence dominated the Consumer Electronics Show Economist
One in six Americans owns a smart speaker, according to study Engadget
***BIG DATA & AI
Visualizing the Uncertainty in Data Flowing Data
AI system sorts news articles by whether or not they contain actual information Motherboard
Questions mount over fate of SpaceX launched secret satellite—did the satellite suffer some sort of failure or is it “indeed, in orbit” Washington Post
***PERSONAL GROWTH
Within Arms Reach Becoming (my blog)
Want to Be Happy? Think Like an Old Person The New York Times
Why Boys Are Mean To Those They Like (video) Digg
Improving Ourselves to Death The New Yorker
The Building Blocks of Personhood: Oliver Sacks on Narrative as the Pillar of Identity Brain Pickings
***WRITING & READING
How Reading Increases Your Emotional Intelligence & Brain Function: The Findings of Recent Scientific Studies Open Culture
Redundancy in writing Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LANGUAGE
New Words of 1990 Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LITERATURE
Martin Luther King Jr. in His Own Words Jstor
Haiti’s Resilience as Seen Through Literature New York Times
A Winter Walk with Thoreau: The Transcendentalist Way of Finding Inner Warmth in the Cold Season Brain Pickings
Why the First Novel Created Such a Stir Jstor
How the written word shaped the written world: Literature is a fundamental part of human history Economist
W.H. Auden on the Political Power of Art and the Crucial Difference Between Party Issues and Revolutionary Issues Brain Pickings
Why we still love Henry David Thoreau New Yorker
***GENDER
Women in economics must be “significantly clearer writers than men” to get published in major journals and must wait longer, too New York Times
A Scientist's Gender Can Skew Research Results NPR
Google Memo Author Sues Company For Discrimination Against White Males BuzzFeed
Am I a bad feminist? (Margaret Atwood) Globe & Mail
***RACE & ETHNICITY ISSUES
North Carolina's Racial Gerrymandering Was Unconstitutional The Atlantic
H&M's Apology for Tone-Deaf 'Monkey' Sweatshirt Misstep 'Not Enough' Billboard
The gap between the number of blacks and whites in prison is shrinking Pew Research
***FREE SPEECH
Medical Charity Brings First Amendment Challenge against U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Washington Post
Student Group Sues UMass Over Speech and Rally Policies US News
Richard Spencer supporter sues university, calling security fee for campus speech unconstitutional Washington Post
Germany is silencing “hate speech”, but cannot define it Economist
Trump calls for review of libel laws (again) in his latest salvo against free press CNN
***LEGAL ISSUES
No Level of Copyright Enforcement Will Ever Be Enough For Big Media TorrentFreak
Legal Footnote: You Have to Look Hard to See the Supreme… ProPublica
Army challenges Golden Knights trademark; Vegas responds ProHockeyTalk
***RELIGION
Report Shows It's Increasingly Dangerous To Be A Christian In Many Countries NPR
Meet the theologian who helped MLK see the value of nonviolence The Conversation
Secret Documents Reveal Sex Abuse Scandal in Jehovah's Witnesses Church Newsweek
An evangelical Catholic movement inspires commitment, stirs controversy Philly.com
Bonhoeffer at the End of Life: Bonhoeffer, Evangelicals and Pastor Mike Hayes Patheos
Latino Churches Fear Impact of Homeland Security Decisions Christianity Today
Arson suspects sought in Pasadena church fire LA Times
Evangelical Chaplain’s Suspension Intensifies Denomination’s Gay Marriage Debate Religious News Service
A Brief History of Making Deals with the Devil: Niccolò Paganini, Robert Johnson, Jimmy Page & More Open Culture
Edwin Hawkins, gospel star known for 'Oh Happy Day' dies at 74 LA Times
***MEGACHURCHES
Megachurch Pastor admits to assaulting a teen 20 years ago, gets standing ovation CBS News
Andy Savage’s Standing Ovation Was Heard Round the World. Because It Was Wrong (opinion) Christianity Today
How California’s Megachurches Changed Christian Culture KQED
Former pastor says Angley abused him Akron Beacon Journal
Publisher cancels book by Tennessee pastor accused of sexual assault USA Today
***RELIGION AND POLITICS
Trump’s ‘s---hole’ remark rattles evangelicals, other Christians The Wichita Eagle
Trump’s ‘shithole’ comments have enraged many. But some evangelical leaders still back him Washington Post
First Baptist pastor Robert Jeffress says sentiment of Trump's vulgar immigration remarks 'on target' Dallas News
Evangelical rift intensifies over Trump immigration remarks Associated Press
***ART & DESIGN
Mapbreaking Prototypr
Russia's Underground Art Finds A Home In The U.S. NPR
Meet your match: Google app finds famous art you look like CNET
What’s Up With the Helvetica Font in ‘The Post’? The Ringer
***MUSIC
Having rescued recorded music, Spotify may upend the industry again Economist
***BUSINESS
Why Economists Make Terrible Fortunetellers Jstor
The 7 Percent Rule: Why a small fraction of visitors drive most online traffic — and profit Traffic
***STUDENT MEDIA
Removal of John Carroll's newspaper adviser upsets former students Baltimore Sun
***STUDENT LIFE
Millennials may be terrible, but they get arrested far less often than their parents did SFGate
***JOBS & INTERNSHIPS
The 10 best places to find a job in 2018 CNBC
Internship opportunities, Summer 2018 NBC, Los Angeles
***SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT
Time For Harassers To Be Held Accountable, Female Gamer Says NPR
The Paradox of Protecting Students: In shielding students from sexual harassers, professors support a broken system Chronicle of Higher Ed
Are men accused of harassment denied due process? Or are the victims? Vox
U. of Rochester’s President Resigns as Report Supports Handling of Harassment Case Chronicle of Higher Ed
Why Psychologist John Pryor Created The Likelihood To Sexually Harass Scale NPR
***FAMILY
Most dads say they spend too little time with their children; about a quarter live apart from them Pew Research
The Grandparenting Generation New Republic
***HEALTH
The economy affects health in an unexpected way NPR
Severe obesity linked to newly identified gene mutations Imperial College of London
Researchers find identical twins share molecular similarity Baylor College of Medicine
How neural stem cells turn into brain cells, may allow treatment of neurological disorders early on UCLA
A severe flu season is stretching hospitals thin. That is a very bad omen Stat News
Trump's new assistant Drug Czar: a 24-year-old campaign volunteer with no experience, in charge of billions to end the opioid epidemic Washington Post
The New Health Care Still Not Convinced You Need a Flu Shot? First, It’s Not All About You New York Times
***SCIENCE
Scientists Continue to Use Outdated Methods The Scientist Magazine
Particle Physics hits a wall Economist
An Oath for Scientists Sometimes I’m Wrong Blog
***2017
2017’s Best and Worst Brand Names—And 3 Naming Trends For 2018 Fast Company
Star Wars, Meghan Markle, total eclipse drove sales on eBay in 2017 CNBC
***CREATIVITY
Two new books probe the evolutionary roots of creativity Economist
***HISTORY
How America’s infatuation with World War II has eroded our conscience (a graphic portrayal) The Nib
Slow Burn: A Podcast About Watergate Slate
50 Years Ago in Photos: A Look Back at 1968 The Atlantic
Watch the History of the World Unfold on an Animated Map: From 200,000 BCE to Today Open Culture
***RESEARCH
The statistical methods used to analyze the data can influence the interpretation of the results Elife Sciences
Funders should mandate open citations Nature
We Used Broadband Data We Shouldn’t Have — Here’s What Went Wrong FiveThirtyEight
That positive p-value we reported yesterday? Um, we screwed that up too Axovant
A New Citation Database Launches Today: Digital Science’s Dimensions Scholarly Kitchen
***HIGHER ED
An Insider’s Take on Assessment: It May Be Worse Than You Thought (“assessors have known for sometime now that assessment does not work”) Chronicle of Higher Ed
Higher Education Is Drowning in BS Chronicle of Higher Ed
Educators must help undocumented students feel safe, supported (opinion) Atlanta Journal Constitution Get Schooled
Is there still a place for Christian colleges in American higher ed? Education Dive
Moody Bible President and COO Both Resign, Provost Retires Christianity Today
***TEACHING
A School's Way To Fight Phones In Class: Lock 'Em Up NPR
***ACADEMIC LIFE
A Scholar, But Not a Professor Chronicle of Higher Ed
FIRE sues college for ignoring records requests about its firing of Black Lives Matter advocate The FIRE
Judge Dismisses Suit of LSU Professor Who Was Fired for Obscenities The Advocate
sadness
/Sadness is a wall between two gardens. Kahlil Gibran
Not Enough
/To me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didn't get enough sleep.” And the next one is “I don't have enough time.” Whether true or not, the thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even set up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that revelry of lack... This internal condition of scarcity, this mindset of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudices, and our arguments with life…
Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money
Self-Control
/People with the best self-control aren’t the ones who use it all day long. They’re people who structure their lives so they conserve it. - John Tierney
Articles of Interest - Jan 8
/***SOCIAL MEDIA
Your smartphone is making you stupid, antisocial and unhealthy. So why can't you put it down The Globe & Mail
There’s a reason using a period in a text message makes you sound angry Quartz
New Documents Underscore Problems of ‘Social Media Vetting’ of Immigrants ACLU
***PRODUCING MEDIA
The 50 Best Podcasts of 2017 The Atlantic
***INTERNET
Google's New Search Console Gives Up More Data -- 16 Months Worth Media Post
How a researcher hacked his own computer and found 'worst' chip flaw Reuters
***JOURNALISM
Targeted for Death, Journalists Take US to Court on Kill List Courthouse News
The Rising Wave of Nonprofit Journalism Nonprofit Quarterly
Reading List: Data Journalism Open Corporates
Show your work: The new terms for trust in journalism Press Think
Study: Competition between TV stations spurs investigative journalism CRJ
One year in, Facebook Journalism Project gets mixed reviews from publishers Digiday
Top 10 research studies on digital news, social media in 2017 Journalism Resources
***THE BUSINESS OF JOURNALISM
Fewer Americans rely on TV news; what type they watch varies by who they are Pew Research Center
How reader funding is helping save independent media across the world The Guardian
Peter Thiel Is Exploring The Creation Of A Conservative Cable News Network BuzzFeed
Three reasons why journalism paywalls still don’t work Quartz
***JOURNALISM: THE POST MOVIE
The Post' Is A Crackling Newsroom Thriller With Electrifying Relevance NPR
As Trump Targets the Press, His White House Is Screening a Journalism Tribute The New York Times
Meryl Streep as Katharine Graham in 'The Post' can help fix #MeToo media damage USA Today
The Post Is an Urgent Reminder of How Much Journalism Matters. Especially Now TIME
***FAKE NEWS
Emmanuel Macron: French president announces 'fake news' law BBC
How Average People Fall For The Flat-Earth Conspiracy YouTube
How fake news plagued 2017 BBC
Some Real Data on Fake News Chronicle of Higher Ed
Fake News’: Wide Reach but Little Impact, Study Suggests The New York Times
This new guide is like a cookbook for investigating fake news Poynter
***TECHNOLOGY
Suspicious Spouses Monitor Partners Digitally, Divorce Lawyers Say NPR
Chess’s New Best Player Is A Fearless, Swashbuckling Algorithm FiveThirtyEight
***BIG DATA & AI
4 must have skills every data scientist should learn Hackernoon
Operationalizing data science—that is, hardening the ops behind data science platforms Inside Data Science
Google’s new option cloud computing users: discount processing (with a couple of limitations) ZdNet
Digital Twins isn't completely new but it is a useful major enabler of event processing Data Science Central
***THE BUSINESS OF MEDIA
Farewell To AM Radio, In The U.K. RBR
***PERSONAL GROWTH
We Seek Familiarity Becoming (my blog)
***WRITING & READING
10 Common Grant-Writing Mistakes Chronicle of Higher Ed
***LANGUAGE
Word(s) of the Year 2017 Chronicle of Higher Ed
Language classes in the US are finally useful Quartz
***LITERATURE
***GENDER
Disequilibrium in Gender Ratios among Authors who Contributed Equally BioRxiv
Female professors are asked for favors more often than male professors Science Daily
***RACE & ETHNICITY ISSUES
Lecturer’s Critique of Whiteness Crossed the Line Into Harassment, State Investigation Finds Chronicle of Higher Ed
Supreme Court sides with death row inmate over racist juror claim Reuters
***LEGAL ISSUES
Arrest of "citizen journalist" raises larger questions about free speech and press freedoms Texas Monthly
Lawyer Who Orchestrated Citizen Journalist's Arrest Appointed to Superior Court Bench National Law Review
Woman who accused Roy Moore of unwanted sexual contact sues him for defamation The Washington Post
***RELIGION
The Unlikely Crackup of Evangelicalism: The problems are real—but exaggerated Christian Today
Thomas Monson, President of the Mormon Church, Dies at 90 Reuters
Nearly one-third of ‘evangelicals’ don’t follow generally held beliefs The Alabama Baptist
FEMA allows churches to apply retroactively for disaster aid Reuters
Biggest Mennonite Conference Leaves Denomination Christianity Today
Unraveling the Mysteries of Heaven's Gate Voice of San Diego
Deep Differences Remain Between Mormon And Evangelical Communities NPR
Memphis mega-church Pastor Accused of sexual assault Fox 13
Evangelicalism is spreading among the Chinese of South-East Asia Economist
How Jim and Tammy Bakker's religious Ponzi scheme collapsed (book review) Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
***ART & DESIGN
High Museum Of Art In Atlanta Promotes Diversity, Increases Nonwhite Visitors NPR
Personal Data Safety: The Biggest Breaches In the Last Decade Daily Infographic
***STUDENT MEDIA
UWM Profs, Staff Accused of Sexual Assault & Harassment But Details Hidden Media Milwaukee
***SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT
Will anyone employ media heavyweights canned for sexual harassment? Poynter
Anniston Star's ex-publisher spanked female employees in the 1970s, reports say AL.com
NPR Investigation Finds Hidden Epidemic Of Sexual Assault NPR
***ENVIRONMENT
Explore lightly': Palau makes all visitors sign pledge to respect environment The Guardian
***HEALTH
Fiber Is Good for You. Now Scientists May Know Why The New York Times
Life expectancy in America has declined for two years in a row Economist
***SCIENCE
Violence against scientists is rare in the United States, but occurred at least three times in 2016 AAPL
The Replication Crisis in Science The Wire
***NEUROSCIENCE
Brain-computer interfaces: How brains and machines can be made to work together Economist
Reading the brain from the outside: Can brain activity be deciphered without opening up the skull? Economist
How obstacles to workable brain-computer interfaces may be overcome Economist
***ETHICS
Integrity goes beyond avoiding misconduct, and scientific integrity has a wider domain than research integrity Taylor & Francis Online
***RESEARCH
Why scientists need to do more about research fraud The Guardian
Research abstracts are commonly inconsistent with their corresponding full reports and thus misleading readers BMC Medical Research Methodology
Librarians offer a guide to understanding retractions College & Research Libraries News
The UK’s Research Excellence Framework “forces academics to produce scholarship in greater quantity but of poorer quality” Times Higher Ed
An analysis of a paper’s revision history and turnaround time, and the effect on citation Springer
***HIGHER ED
Most big public colleges don't track suicides, AP finds Associated Press
Gay Wedding Costs College Pastor Her Job Inside Higher Ed
University Will Again Try to Become a Nonprofit Chronicle of Higher Ed
University announces plans to sell radio station Andersonian
Moody Bible Institute Lays off one-third of Faculty, Faces Low Student Enrollment Christian Post
Moody Bible Institute Facing Unprecedented Crisis Julie Roys Blog
***TEACHING
Teaching Newsletter: Don’t Run From Emotions in the Classroom Chronicle of Higher Ed
Teaching the Literature Survey Course Inside Higher Ed
The Chronicle’s Best Ideas for Teaching, 2017 Chronicle of Higher Ed
Desktop Automation Chronicle of Higher Ed
How to Reach Out to First-Generation Students Chronicle of Higher Ed
Yes, We Should Teach Character (opinion) Chronicle of Higher Ed
***STUDENT LIFE
Students Identify With 50-Year-Old Supreme Court Case NPR
President Trump Throws College Republicans Into Disarray The Atlantic
Berkeley student arrested by Border Patrol while visiting girlfriend in Chula Vista Union-Tribune
Millennials And The Economy NPR
***ACADEMIC LIFE
When is it appropriate for a professor to talk about a former student Washington Post
UCLA lecturer who lost his job has gained another wrinkle: A graduate student who argued on his behalf also lost his position and is claiming retaliation by administrators Chronicle of Higher Ed
We Seek Familiarity
/We believe we seek happiness in love, but it’s not quite as simple. What at times it seems we actually seek is familiarity – which may well complicate any plans we might have for happiness.
We recreate in adult relationships some of the feelings we knew in childhood. It was as children that we first came to know and understand what love meant. But unfortunately, the lessons we picked up may not have been straightforward. The love we knew as children may have come entwined with other, less pleasant dynamics: being controlled, feeling humiliated, being abandoned, never communicating.
As adults, we may then reject certain healthy candidates whom we encounter, not because they are wrong, but precisely because they are too well-balanced (too mature, too understanding, too reliable), and this rightness feels unfamiliar and alien, almost oppressive. We head instead to candidates whom our unconscious is drawn to, not because they will please us, but because they will frustrate us in familiar ways.
We marry the wrong people because the right ones feel wrong – undeserved; because we have no experience of health, because we don’t ultimately associate being loved with feeling satisfied.
suspence
/Only the brave can endure suspense. Mignon McLaughlin
The Vulnerability Myth
/The perception that vulnerability is weakness is the most widely accepted myth about vulnerability and the most dangerous. When we spend our lives pushing away and protecting ourselves from feeling vulnerable or from being perceived as too emotional, we feel contempt when others are less capable or willing to mask feelings, suck it up, and soldier on. We’ve come to the point where, rather than respecting appreciating the courage and daring behind vulnerability, we let our fear and discomfort become judgment and criticism.
Our rejections of vulnerability often stems from associating it with dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment—emotions that we don't want to discuss, even when they profoundly affect the way we live, love, work, and even lead. What most of us fail to understand and what took me a decade of research to learn is the vulnerability is also the cradle of the emotions experiences that we crave. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual eyes, vulnerability is the path.
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
Our Difficult Side
/Knowledge of our own neuroses is not at all easy to come by. It can take years and situations we have had no experience of. Prior to marriage, we’re rarely involved in dynamics that properly hold up a mirror to our disturbances. Whenever more casual relationships threaten to reveal the ‘difficult’ side of our natures, we tend to blame the partner – and call it a day. As for our friends, they predictably don’t care enough about us to have any motive to probe our real selves. They only want a nice evening out. Therefore, we end up blind to the awkward sides of our natures. On our own, when we’re furious, we don’t shout, as there’s no one there to listen – and therefore we overlook the true, worrying strength of our capacity for fury. Or we work all the time without grasping, because there’s no one calling us to come for dinner, how we manically use work to gain a sense of control over life – and how we might cause hell if anyone tried to stop us. At night, all we’re aware of is how sweet it would be to cuddle with someone, but we have no opportunity to face up to the intimacy-avoiding side of us that would start to make us cold and strange if ever it felt we were too deeply committed to someone. One of the greatest privileges of being on one’s own is the flattering illusion that one is, in truth, really quite an easy person to live with.
pursue meaning
/People pursue happiness, but it’s always temporary. Pursue meaning instead. -Emily Esfahani Smith