Advice for graduating students while sheltering in place

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Graduating college students are asking what they should be doing while sheltering in place.

Ask yourself: Am I keeping myself physically, psychologically, and spiritually healthy? If the answer is ‘no’ then stop looking for new ways to feel guilty and allow yourself breathe. Give time to self-care. Don’t pile more on top of yourself when you are already sliding backward. Secondly, are there members of your family in need of support? Make that your next priority. 

If those areas are in good shape, below are some steps I would consider right now for the best career launch when the cloud lifts, and you can move forward. Take them with a grain of salt; Avoid comparing yourself to others and ask what is reasonable for you to do given your time and situation. Think of this as a “choose your adventure” exercise. Set attainable goals for a sense of control in a moment of change.

1. Update your resume: No mistakes, and it must be easy to scan. Have you included your social media? You know every employer will check your social media and Google you, right? You should do that. You’ll find more specific resume recommendations here.

2. Speaking of social: Give yourself a social media makeover. Look for inappropriate or unfocused tweets, posts, and Instagram stories, then reconsider your privacy settings, clearly define your audience, etc. I’ll send you a list of a dozen ways to give yourself a fresh look if you email me.  Don’t forget LinkedIn (if your industry uses it). 

3. Reverse engineer your career: Look up jobs that interest you and see what’s missing from your resume or needs shoring up. What can you do now, or when things open up again? Make a list. Perhaps get up to speed on a professional program like Excel, InDesign, or Premiere Pro.

4. Gather all your supporting materials now, so you aren’t scrambling when a prospective employee asks for various kinds of writing samples. Do you have recommendation letters, head shots, thank you notes, etc.?  (You don’t send thank you notes? It’s an easy way to set yourself apart. Plus, it’s a nice thing to do).

5. Work on your elevator pitch—that is, create a compelling speech about your entire professional life that lasts no more than 15 seconds. Pick up some ideas about this personal branding exercise here. Try your pitch on others for feedback. 

6. Create a list of job sites you will visit once a week. Start with Indeed and look for lists (often in social media) produced by groups dedicated to your industry. FYI: Your first job or two is not a lifelong commitment. Your path is likely to be circuitous. Aim at moving in the right general direction rather getting there in one big leap.

7. Create Google alerts to bring you articles from Google News related to your industry by using keywords. Stay on top of the trends and barriers it faces.  Pro tip: Set a Google alert on your own name so you’ll know when someone has posted something about you online.

8. Try some mock interviews with whoever you are staying with—they’ve probably had a few interviews themselves, or else they can grab some typical questions off the internet to throw at you. Better yet Zoom it because your next job interview is likely to be a video conference.

9. Are there contests offered right now by professional organizations in your field for which you could submit entries?

10. Be ready to answer in a job interview, “What new skills did you acquire during self-quarantine?” Here are some great options: Coursera Makes Courses & Certificates Free During Coronavirus Quarantine

11. Develop more life skills. If you haven’t already done so, put effort into learning to cook, doing your own laundry, etc. Try Googling, “What college students should be able to do on their own.”

12. Educate yourself on your student loans. When are you supposed to start paying it off? Do You have deferral options? 

13. Cut costs and budget. Where can you stop spending? If you don’t have a budget, make one—even if it is just a projected one. Know where your money is going. How much money can you spend on job hunting?

14. Work on a political campaign. There’s an election in November, and there is probably an issue(s) about which you care deeply. See if you can get hired using your college-trained skills or volunteer. You’ll feel like you are making a difference while adding a line to your resume. 

15. Read a few of the dozens of articles about job hunting on my site Goforth Job Tips. Mine them for tips that apply to this unique situation. Start with the career advice articles and move on to those about resumes and interviews.  Regularly search for recent articles on the subject.

16. You’ll find a list of hundreds of “tech tools” here. Learn a few digital tricks to set yourself apart. Play around. See what’s out there that can make your life easier. A place to start: Pick a platform (like Wix) to put up a website that will house projects you’ve completed showing what you can do.

17. While you are building a website, buy your own domain name. Mine is www.StephenGoforth.com. It’s easy to do at places like GoDaddy.

18. Pick up some books (online or physical) and listen to some podcasts that either distract you for a few moments and fire your imagination or else educate you about your chosen field. Pro tip: connect with someone who does some hiring in your industry and ask for reading/listening recommendations. 

19.  Contact professionals for advice on what you should be doing. Don’t ask for a job—ask them to have a cup of coffee with you (by video conference, of course) and then ask questions and listen. Ask your professors who they would recommend you seek out—then ask the same question each time you finish having coffee with a pro.  

Finally, don’t try to take on everything at once. Focus on what you can do today; just that one step in front of you.

Looking Forward by Looking Back

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If the past isn’t the way you thought it was, then the present isn’t, either. Letting go of that present may make it easier to conceive of a new future. Things look different from the neutral zone, for one of the things you let of in the ending process is the need to see the past in a particular way, and in doing that you let go of the need to think of the future in the way you always have.

William Bridges, Transitions

A Franciscan Blessing

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May God bless you with a restless discomfort
about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships,
so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression,
and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for
justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer
from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may
reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that
you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able,
with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,
Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour,
and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you
and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN.

Fists pounding the hard earth in agony

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Looking through the shadowy foliage of Gethsemane, we don't see the classic portrait of Christ, rendered by the artist. We don't see Him in a snow-white robe kneeling beside a big rock, hands peacefully folded, with a look of serenity in His face as a spotlight from heaven illuminates His golden-brown hair. Instead, we see a man flat on his face, fists pounding the hard earth in agony. We see a fact stained with tears and dirt, hair matted with sweat, facial muscles contorted in  pain like the gnarled, twisted olive trees looking on. God was never more human than at this hour. Have you been in the dark garden of Gethsemane? Betrayed by  a friend? Deserted by those around you?  Felt abandoned? Lonely? The next time you think no one cares, pay a visit to Gethsemane and see the man of sorrows. Because seeing God like this does wonders for your suffering. 

Charles Swindoll, For Those Who Hurt  

so that I may participate in it fully

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I do not serve God only in the brief moments during which I am taking part in a religious service, or reading the Bible, or saying my prayers, or talking about him in some book I am writing, or discussing the meaning of life with a patient or a friend. 

I serve him quite as much when I am giving a patient an injection, or lancing an abscess, or writing a prescription, or giving a piece of good advice. Or again, I serve him quite as much when I am reading the newspaper, traveling, laughing at a joke, or soldering a joint in an electric wire. I serve him by taking an interest in everything, because he is interested in everything, because he has created everything and has put me in his creation so that I may participate in it fully. 

“It is a great mistake,” wrote Archbishop William Temple, “to suppose that God is interested only, or even primarily in religion.”

Paul Tournier, The Adventure of Living

What’s really on people’s minds

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Too often spouses, and also parents with their children, reduce conversations to logistics such as what to have for dinner, whose turn it is to do the laundry, or when to leave for soccer practice. Friends might run down their latest accomplishments and activities. What often gets left out is what is really on people’s minds — their joys, struggles, hopes and fears. Sometimes people keep conversation light with friends and family because they assume they already know what’s going on, but also, they may be afraid of what they might learn.

But what is love if not a willingness to listen to and be a part of another person’s evolving story? 

It turns out the best way for us to really understand those closest to us is to spend time with them, put down our phones and actually listen to what they have to say.

Kate Murphy, writing in the New York Times, author of You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters

I know exactly what you mean

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We think it’s helpful to say, ‘I know exactly what you mean, I went through something similar…’ but that’s you talking about your own feelings, rather than allowing your friend to tell you what it’s like for them. When a person wants to express their pain, your experiences aren’t relevant to them. A similar, common mistake is to leap to offer advice before being asked. Giving advice is not listening, and often it’s not helpful. It shuts people down. If you feel a responsibility to fix your friend’s problems, relinquish it.

Moya Sarner writing in The Guardian

The Self-esteem Secret

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You can either let your self-esteem ride on the answer to questions like:

Do people think I am smart?  
Am I shaped like a model?  
Do I look weak and foolish? 

Or you can let your self-esteem be based on the knowledge that you are of value because you are made in God's image and that he has set his affection on you.

You've made quite a journey already, struggling to keep going and learning to rest in that knowledge. Won’t it be enjoyable to march down that path, head held high and a big smile on your face? It’s there, not because you are ignoring your trouble, but because you know the secret.

 
Stephen Goforth

Take a deep breath

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A famous classical musician slipped on jeans and a baseball cap. He then took his million-dollar Stradivarius violin into the Washington, DC metro and played for passengers. They were not impressed because he didn't look the part of a professional. He wasn’t wearing concert attire or playing in a concert hall. 

A mother brought her toddler into the emergency room of a hospital for three straight days. But doctors dismissed her symptoms because of her mother’s behavior. On the third visit, the girl died.

In their book Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman say these are examples of premature labeling. 

Before you determine the inherent worth of someone or something, take a deep breath and make sure your first impression isn’t keeping you from seeing what's actually going on. 


Stephen Goforth

Questions and Answers

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Albert Einstein once said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.”  A friend who heard this wrote to me asking, “Why?  Why?  Why?????????”

I think Einstein was assuming there were answers to be found—as opposed to people (some of them I bumped into while studying philosophy) who dare not find any answers because it’s the "search" for truth/answers/reasons that appealed to them. Finding answers would require an identity shift from aggressive critic to defender of a viewpoint and that’s not as much fun. It’s like the search for romantic love—fun to chase but boring or frustrating to find it and try to live with it.

Our choices show whether we are asking questions because we want answers or whether we draw pleasure from shouting question marks and hearing empty echoes in response. 

Stephen Goforth