Motivation doesn’t equal Achievement

You might think it is safe to assume that, once you motivate students, the learning will follow. Yet research shows that this is often not the case: motivation doesn’t always lead to achievement, but achievement often leads to motivation. If you try to ‘motivate’ students into public speaking, they might feel motivated but can lack the specific knowledge needed to translate that into action. However, through careful instruction and encouragement, students can learn how to craft an argument, shape their ideas and develop them into solid form. 

A lot of what drives students is their innate beliefs and how they perceive themselves. There is a strong correlation between self-perception and achievement, but there is some evidence to suggest that the actual effect of achievement on self-perception is stronger than the other way round. To stand up in a classroom and successfully deliver a good speech is a genuine achievement, and that is likely to be more powerfully motivating than woolly notions of ‘motivation’ itself.  

Carl Hendrick writing in Aeon

Articles of Interest - June 10


“You put that many people together from so many backgrounds, of course they’re going to start chasing each other with machetes”  Columbia Journalism Review

What to Ask Yourself Before You Start a Crowdsourcing Project Propublica

Rural teens seek (but rarely find) themselves in local news coverage Reynold’s Journalism Institute  

Redacted briefs before Supreme Court violate First Amendment (opinion)  Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press  

The value of bias in a quest for inclusive journalism RTDNA


Micropayments-for-news pioneer Blendle is pivoting from micropayments Harvard’s Nieman Lab

These Reporters Lost Their Jobs. Now They’re Fighting Back Against Big Tech BuzzFeed News

 Five futures for journalism  Salon

Sobering reality for news outlets: Your readers are somewhere else 99% of the time  Harvard’s Nieman Lab

Google Made $4.7 Billion From the News Industry in 2018, Study Says New York Times  

That “$4.7 billion” number for how much money Google makes off the news industry? It’s imaginary Harvard’s Nieman Lab

How the Star Tribune became the most successful metro paper in America — a decade after going broke  Traffic


Americans think fake news is big problem, blame politicians Associated Press

Congress to investigate deepfakes as doctored Pelosi video causes stir CNN

The Real Problem With Fake News  The Atlantic

The one Weird Trick will help you spot Clickbait  TED 

To detect fake news, this AI first learned to write it  Tech Crunch 


When Grown-Ups Get Caught in Teens’ AirDrop Crossfire The Atlantic  

Machine Learning Experts Have Found A Way To Edit Videos Of People Saying Words They've Never Said  Digg 

Why Is It So Hard to Solve Problems with Technology? Scholarly Kitchen


Google’s AI can create videos from start and end frames alone  VentureBeat  

How do neural networks see depth?  ZD Net


Pizza Place In California Wants Patrons To Put Away Their Cellphones  NPR

Facebook bans health and conspiracy site Natural News ArsTechnica 

HBO’s ‘Chernobyl’ has Instagram influencers flocking to the site of the disaster  BGR


Schools Are Deploying Massive Digital Surveillance Systems: The Results Are Alarming Ed Week

How to stop robocalls—or at least slow them down  Wired

Privacy concerns don’t stop people from putting their DNA on the internet to help solve crimes The Conversation

CBP says traveler photos and license plate images stolen in data breach Tech Crunch


The Danger of Love  Becoming (my blog)

Work-Life Balance Is a Myth: Do This Instead  TIME

Be a Better Conversationalist by 'Supporting' Instead of 'Shifting'  Life Hacker


13 methods for achieving your writing goals  PR Daily

Why Writing Better Will Make You a Better Person  Chronicle of Higher Ed

How I Taught My Kid to Read  The Atlantic


Dispute Arises Over ‘No-No Boy,’ a Classic of Asian-American Literature With a Complex History  New York Times 

10 Facts About Dr. Seuss’s Oh, The Places You’ll Go!  Mental Floss


How poetry influenced scientists  Cosmos Magazine

Jim Harrison’s Essential Poetry  National Review

The Making of Poetry by Adam Nicolson review — a superb study of Coleridge and Wordsworth The Times

When Poets Pray  Presbyterian Outlook

Poetry and the Art of Minimalism  Thrive Global

How Instagram Could Stifle a New Generation of Poets Ozy

There's a Poem for Every Reader (sub. req’ed)  Wall Street Journal

For Poet Billy Collins, the Vineyard Is an Entrancing Isle Vineyard Gazette


Gender disparity still exists in authorship of academic medical research especially in the last author position  JAMA 

Bias in Science Hiring: New study finds discrimination against women and racial minorities in hiring in the sciences Inside Higher Ed

Women in Animated Films Make Up Only 17% of Lead Characters  The Wrap


Racial and gender biases plague postdoc hiring  Science Mag

Inside an all-white town’s divisive experiment with cryptocurrency Wired

A new podcast amplifies Asian American stories  Columbia Journalism Review


Texas becomes 17th state to enact campus free speech legislation The FIRE

Alabama governor signs campus free speech bill into law  The Hill


Sorry, but you can’t copyright a meme  The Next Web

Court: Arresting A Driver For Shouting 'Fuck You' Out The Window At A Nearby State Trooper Is Unconstitutional  Tech Dirt

InfoWars Pays $15K to Settle 'Pepe the Frog' Copyright Lawsuit  Hollywood Reporter


Amber Scorah On Losing Her Faith, And Her Son, In 'Leaving The Witness'  NPR

Southern Baptists discuss whether one woman can preach

Evangelicals opening to science-friendly “process” theology, says Thomas Jay Oord  Vancouver Sun

Univision, sued for news story about Evangelical Church Miami Herald

Former Liberty University professor convicted of child sex solicitation News Advance

Her Evangelical Megachurch Was Her World. Then Her Daughter Said She Was Molested by a Minister New York Times


97-year-old vet with the 101st parachutes again over Normandy Clarksville Now   

Woman given just 3 days to live at birth graduates from college — with honors The Week

Formerly homeless man readmitted to University of Texas after leaving school in 1975  NBC News

Indiana teacher takes students' drawings and turns them into stuffed animals  The Week

He checked on elderly resident, fed neighborhood cats and gave hugs to people going through hard times  BuzzFeed News


Grocer designed embarrassing plastic bags to shame shoppers into bringing reusable ones: Plan Backfires BongBong

The restaurant owner who asked for 1-star Yelp reviews Hustle


Learning to Love the Music You Hate  Topic

The sociology of country music lyrics  Economist


Watch 3,000 Films Free Online from the National Film Board of Canada Open Culture

The Films that Defined Generation X BBC


Mobile Internet Usage Reaches 800 Hours A Year Media Post

America's rural radio stations are vanishing – and taking the country's soul with them The Guardian

What Loosening Restrictions On Radio Consolidation Could Do, And What It Already Has  NPR

Longtime TV weatherman off air since slamming station's code red 'corporate initiative' during broadcast  Newsweek


You’re probably answering these 5 common interview questions wrong Fast Company

Career advice for TV Journalists  Twitter

Three men who all told very different lies on their resumes (and still got the job) Mel Magazine


Personal essays and reported features on the integral role pets play in millennials' lives Bustle 

The Sierra Club is looking for new environmental writers

Food pitches  Topic magazine  

Pitches for an upcoming “Books & Authors" issue  High Country News   

Writers and photographers to produce Portland-based neighborhood guides Portland in Color and Travel Portland

Freelance pitches  Medium's new publication for women of color

Freelance games writer  Radar


Boom in electric scooters leads to more injuries, fatalities Associated Press

Americans’ views flipped on gay rights. How did minds change so quickly?  Washington Post

Better Schools Won’t Fix America (opinion)  The Atlantic


5 facts about the abortion debate in America  Pew Research Center

In Alabama where lawmakers banned abortion for rape victims—rapists' parental rights are protected Washington Post  

A majority of Americans think abortion will still be legal in 30 years, but with some restrictions  Pew Research Center


3 myths about Mexico and migration, debunked  CNN

Migrants in Custody at Hospitals Are Treated Like Felons, Doctors Say   New York Times

Not content with merely providing unsanitary conditions for border detainees, CBP decides to poison the entire El Paso area  Washington Examiner

Georgia professor’s immigration comments cause stir on social media AJC


More Americans Are Living Solo, and Companies Want Their Business Wall Street Journal

The weakness of online consumer reviews  The Week


Art from invasive species creates conversations about conservation  MPR News   

Record-Breaking Heat in Alaska Wreaks Havoc on Communities and Ecosystems  Smithsonian 

More People See Climate Change In Record Flooding NPR

Amazon Rainforest Deforestation in Brazil on the Rise for Years  Bloomberg


How Early Trauma Can Shape The Brain's Response To Pain  NPR 

A new study of how spin in coverage of medical studies affects perceptions BMC Medicine

How Safe is Sunscreen?  New York Times

If You Can Do This Many Pushups in a Row, Harvard Scientists Say Your Risk of Heart Attack Is Over 30 Times Less  Inc.

How old are your organs? To scientists’ surprise, organs are a mix of young and old cells Salk Institute for Biological Studies 

Apple's 'noise' app Buzzes your wrist whenever you're in a loud environment  Wired

Don’t trust advice from streaming ‘health’ films, experts say New York Post

More evidence that autism is linked to gut bacteria Economist


136 Maps Reveal Where Tourists & Locals Take Photos in Major Cities Across the Globe Open Culture

Forget the Bahamas. China's cruises are where it's at  Wired


A slick video with claims about artificial food spreads online even though some of the claims are fake  CNN

The Majic of Japan’s Convenience Store  BBC


Trump Administration Cancels English Classes Soccer Legal Air for Unaccompanied Child Migrants in US Shelters  Washington Post

Taking on the system: 'Dreamers' are getting law degrees Associated Press

American Bar Association Says Immigration Courts Are 'On The Brink Of Collapse'  NPR


A New Photo Book Documents the Wonderful Homemade Cat Ladders of Switzerland Open Culture

Prison Dogs Of Angola New York Times

Ogden restaurant won’t allow service dogs; customers upset Fox-13

Stressed out? Your dog may feel it too, study suggests Associated Press

Bees can link symbols to numbers: study  RMIT University

How to Get Your Neighbor’s Dog to Stop Barking Incessantly Life Hacker


Physicists see a quantum leap, halt it, and reverse it Wired

Share your science with a story  Science Mag


Human Brains Are Sensitive To Musical Pitch, Unlike Those Of Monkeys  NPR 

The Men’s Mental Health Double-Bind  Psychology Today


How Did You Learn to Type?  Life Hacker

How the brain changes when mastering a new skill Science Daily


How Did You Learn to Type?  Life Hacker

I've been working from home for 9 years — here are my best productivity hacks  Business Insider


The Roads of Ancient Rome Visualized in the Style of Modern Subway Maps Open Culture

Marie Curie Became the First Woman to Win a Nobel Prize, the First Person to Win Twice, and the Only Person in History to Win in Two Different Sciences Open Culture


Conflict Over Sociologist's Narrative Puts Spotlight on Ethnography  Chronicle of Higher Education 

If the journal accepts the manuscript with only minor suggestions for improvement, authors then withdraw the paper and aim for a higher–impact factor journal The-Scientist

Exposing Hidden Defects in Citation Statistics and Journal Impact Factors  Clarivate Analytics

Knowledge and attitudes among life scientists towards reproducibility within journal articles  Bio Rxix 

After outcry, USDA will no longer require scientists to label research ‘preliminary  Washington Post


Bakery awarded $11 million in libel lawsuit against Oberlin College over alleged racial profiling  CNN

Study: College degree a good investment, despite cost  KSNT 

Oral Roberts University pays $300K in recruiting settlement  Associated Press 

Jerry Falwell Jr. Deletes Crude Tweet over Prayer Over Trump at Church  Christian News

Louisville's Southern Baptist seminary rejects call to make slavery reparations Courier Journal

Psychology and Christianity intersect at new Houston Baptist University institute Houston Chronicle


How to Make the Best of Bad Course Evaluations  Chronicle of Higher Education


Newspapers thrown away at two universities following publication of controversial articles  Student Press Law Center

Civil Liberties Watchdog accuses Rutgers of using unconstitutional process to found student press  Inside Higher Ed 


An astounding number of American college students are going hungry or homeless Business Insider

After Restraint And Seclusion, Students With Disabilities Pay An Emotional Toll  NPR


Sexual harassment, misconduct behind medicine professor’s dismissal Stanford Daily

A warning from the academic underground of adjuncts and contingent faculty Science Magazine



The Danger of Love

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness...The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.  

CS Lewis, The Four Loves

Each Step

The longer we continue to make the wrong decisions, the more our heart hardens; the more often we make the right decision, the more our heart softens - or better perhaps, comes alive.  

Each step in life which increases my self-confidence, my integrity, my courage, my conviction also increases my capacity to choose the desirable alternative, until eventually it becomes more difficult for me to choose the undesirable rather than the desirable action.       

On the other hand, each act of surrender and cowardice weakens me, opens the path for more acts of surrender, and eventually freedom is lost. With each step along the wrong road it becomes increasingly difficult for people to admit that they are on the wrong road, often only because they have to admit that they must go back to the first wrong turn, and must accept the fact that they have wasted energy and time.     

Erich Fromm, The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil    

Dunbar's number

The number of people with whom we can maintain a stable relationship is about 150, according to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar. He says: 

We devote around 40 percent of our available social time to our 5 most intimate friends and relations…and the remaining 60 percent in progressively decreasing amounts goes to the other 145.  

Friendship is the single most important factor influencing our health, well-being, and happiness. Creating and maintaining friendships is, however, extremely costly, in terms of both the time that has to be invested and the cognitive mechanisms that underpin them. Part of friendship is the act of mentalizing, or mentally envisioning the landscape of another's mind. Cognitively, this process is extraordinarily taxing, and as such, intimate conversations seem to be capped at about four people before they break down and form smaller conversational groups.  

Read more at the BigThink

Articles of Interest - June 3


Because of AI, the value of a computer science degree will “diminish over time,” says investor Mark Cuban  Vox 

This AI uses echolocation to identify what you're doing  Wired 

Improving robots’ grasp requires a new way to measure it in humans  Economist


A means to preserve the integrity of video, AI models and digital archives—data that can be easily manipulated to change historical facts  Computer Weekly 

Google’s AI can create videos from start and end frames alone  Venture Beat 

SpaceX’s Starlink satellites are clearly visible in the sky—and astronomers aren’t happy  MIT Technology Review


People Are Spending More Time on Instagram, at the Expense of Facebook and Snapchat  Adweek 

The quiet power of sound design  Wired 

Nancy Pelosi accuses Facebook of 'lying to the public' after it refuses to remove fake video  Mashable  

Instagramming Crowds Pack National Parks  NPR  


A high school student says her principal’s graduation speech plagiarized Ashton Kutcher  FOX-8 

My phone helped me fall in love with books again  Salon  


This crafty robot can write in languages it’s never seen before  Wired 

Iceland is inventing a new vocabulary for a high-tech future  Quartz 


Best Fiction – Spring 2019  The What 

Tony Horwitz, Author and Pulitzer Prize Winner, Dies At 60  Slate

The best recent poetry – review roundup  The Guardian

'Start With Truth And End With Art': Poet Ocean Vuong On His Debut Novel  NPR

How can I expand my reading of Indian literature?  The Guardian

Review: ‘Normal People’ harkens to 19th century literature to tell compelling contemporary love story  Post & Courier   


‘Don’t Read Poetry’ is a literary manual for the Instagram era  Washington Post

Five Centuries of Yiddish Poetry, Written by Women  Forward 

New doctors in Scotland are being given a book of poetry to help them deal with the stresses of the job  The i Paper

The Univ of Tenn at Chattanooga Poetry program receives $1 million endowment  News-9 

Foals Frontman Yannis is Currently Obsessed with Poetry And The Band Low  Vice 

An introduction to Georgian poetry, and the country’s beautiful alphabet Emerging Europe

Poetry Out Loud: The Finale Edition  Book Riot


The Cautionary Tale of the ‘Female Byron’  The New York Times 

Fans Worldwide Prepare To Honor Bicentennial Of Walt Whitman's Birth  NPR 

A San Diego Poet and What She Saw in El Salvador  Consortium News

Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass and the complex life of the ‘poet of America’   The Conversation

Tips from a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet  Everett Herald

What a San Diego Poet saw in El Salvador  Consortium News  


Why women are called 'influencers' and men 'creators'  Wired 

Professor paid less than men: Judge says that doesn’t matter  Inside Higher Ed  

Virtual reality: how women are taking a leading role in the sector The Guardian

A Starbucks Customer Ordered a Simple Coffee. Then the Barista Went Too Far Inc.


Kishi Bashi Uses The History Of Japanese Internment To Explore America Today  NPR

Who's doing the heavy lifting in terms of diversity and inclusion work?  Inside Higher Ed

Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill: Stamp puts Tubman's face on the twenty  USA Today

Who Counts as a Person of Color? Conversations on Diversity  Inside Higher Ed


Is a construction company right in suing a cafe over the word cat?  The Guardian

Former student sues Oklahoma University over false rankings  The Oklahoman

This Teen Planned A School Shooting. But Did He Break The Law?  NPR


What online chess taught one teen about digital life  Wired  

Facing the ubiquity of fortnite in our kids' lives  Wired  


Security Experts Express Concern Over Electronic System To Check-In At Polling Places  NPR 

Apple promises privacy, but iPhone apps share your data with trackers, ad companies and research firms  Washington Post 

Flipboard database hacks exposed users' account information  Cnet

Secret tracking device found in Navy email to Navy Times amid leak investigation raises legal, ethical questions  Military Times 

Russia demands Tinder give user data to secret services  Associated Press

Microsoft says mandatory password changing is “ancient and obsolete  Ars Technica

Privacy is Apple’s most premium product  The Next Web


Old politicians flock to new film media  Axios 

YouTube doesn’t want you to download their videos  Tools for Reporters  


The False and Idolatrous Narrative of 'American Christianity' (opinion)  SoJo 

After harassment of Sikh bus driver, Maryland school district agrees to awareness training  Religious News Service 

The so-called (Billy Graham) Library is not a library: It has no archives. It has no archivist  Religious News Service 

Why politics may kill white churches (opinion)  Religious News Service


Evangelical financial watchdog faces scrutiny over backing of errant megachurch  Religious News Service

The preachers getting rich from poor Americans  BBC 

A wealthy televangelist explains his fleet of private jets: ‘It’s a biblical thing’  Washington Post   


Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X outvoted their elders in 2018 midterms  Pew Research Center


Arizona softball team throws head-shaving party in support of teammate’s cancer fight  WHNT

I hated my neighbor: Then one lesson led to a life-changing friendship  Washington Post

Georgia girl saves sister from drowning in pool  WSAV-3  


6 Ideas That Were So Ahead Of Their Time Everybody Went Nuts  Cracked 

Lego dispute of biblical proportions sees Bible loving exhibitor walk from show  Stuff New Zealand 


Metadata is the biggest little problem plaguing the music industry  The Verge

Generative music apps let your phone write songs for you  Wired   


Carpe Diem! Dead Poets Society Turns 30: See Where the Cast Is Now  People 


Video measurement standard inches closer to reality  Axios   

Meredith Sells Sports Illustrated to Authentic Brands Group for $110 Million  Variety


Phone Records of AP Journalists Seized by US Government  New York Times  

The latest key newsroom job: membership editor  Digiday 

Former reporter creates ‘Rate my Professor’ for newsrooms  Columbia Journalism Review 

Is this the greatest timed shot in TV journalism?  BoingBoing  

Woman Who Pioneered Investigative Journalism  The Atlantic


To fight deepfakes, researchers built a smarter camera  Wired 

How Russia’s disinformation strategy is evolving  Poynter 

I plant trees for a living, but Flat Earthers tell me they don’t exist  Quartz  

I was a Macedonian fake news writer’  BBC  

Researchers Want to Build Fake Photo Detection Tools Right Into Our Cameras  Gizmodo

This doctor is recruiting an army of medical experts to drown out fake health news on Instagram and Twitter  CNBC

Twitter Buys Machine-Learning Startup That Helps Detect Fake News  Media Post  


Washington Univ sued for violating the Public Records Act  KOMO News

Rutgers trampled the constitution by letting students vote to defund the newspaper, group says


How to quit your job on your terms  Poynter 

Tips on how to break into "long-form investigative journalism"  Twitter 


9 tips for branding yourself like a pro   Freelancers Union 

Freelance digital-only or digital-radio pitches on immigrant food, culture and history  PRI  

No, Freelancers are not banks  The Free Lancers 

The New York Times' Wordplay's Solver Stories  New York Times

Radical essay ideas  RaceBaitr

Paid contributors  Vegan lifestyle magazine launching in July  Twitter

Thoughtful, engaging book reviews between 1200-2500 words  Rumpus

Personal essays with a research/critical component  Catapult Story

Personal essays on mental health  The Breakdown


Southern Baptist leaders plan to remedy ‘insufficient’ approach to abuse claims  Religious News Service  

This Elite Science Group Finally Has A Way To Expel Members For Sexual Harassment BuzzFeed News

How reporting sexual harassment impacts a woman’s career  Fast Company


Key findings about U.S. immigrants  Pew Research Center

Birth Control Still Tops List of Morally Acceptable Issues  Gallup


I gave water to migrants crossing the Arizona desert. They charged me with a felony  Washington Post 

Extending 'Zero Tolerance' To People Who Help Migrants Along The Border  NPR

Nearly 900 migrants found at Texas facility with 125-person capacity: DHS watchdog  ABC News  

More people are actually moving from the US to Mexico  Business Insider

Botched family reunifications left migrant children waiting in vans overnight NBC News  


10,000 Steps Per Day? Fitness Trackers Push It, But How Many Do You Really Need?  NPR

Is working out at the crack of dawn the key to productivity? We put it to the test  Fast Company

New compound which kills antibiotic-resistant superbugs discovered  Science Daily

Viruses and other parasites may sync with their host’s biological clock — or reset it — to gain an advantage  Quanta Magazine

For Patients, It Matters How You Tell Your Story To A Doctor  NPR


How the anti-vaccine movement crept into the GOP mainstream  Politico

Professor who links vaccines to autism funded through university portal  The Guardian


There Are Two Types of Airport People  The Atlantic

13 Ways Hackers Get You When You Travel  Reader’s Digest 


What banned substances might be hiding in your groceries? Find out now  The Guardian 

Fears grow over 'food swamps' as drugstores outsell major grocers  The Guardian 


Does Having Divorced Parents Affect Your Marriage?  The Atlantic

Where Europe stands on gay marriage and civil unions  Pew Research Center


Nearly 30% of teens sleep with their phones, but parents’ device use may be more problematic  Quarz

The world slime convention! Let's Goo!  Wired 

You can’t teach schoolkids ‘resilience’ when they’re micromanaged every day  The Guardian 


Octopuses' Big Brains And Unique Behavior Spur Basic Research  NPR


The wagon wheel effect shows the limits of the human brain  Wired  

The Crucial Role of Brain Simulation in Future Neuroscience  Singularity Hub


What wrapping a rope around the Earth reveals about the limits of human intuition  Aeon


10 Productivity Hacks From  Wired 


Measure Up  Becoming (my blog)

Why compassion fades  Big Think 


USC’s social work school may lay off nearly half of its staff and eliminate most of its part-time teaching positions  LA Times

College Students Aren't Checking Out Books at Libraries  The Atlantic

Investigation Finds No Basis for Former Arizona State U. Professor’s Viral Claims of Corruption  Chronicle of Higher Ed

US Universities And Retirees Are Funding The Technology Behind China’s Surveillance State  BuzzFeed News

Christian College Professor Resigns in Protest After School Leaders Conceal Lewd, Sexist Comments by Prominent Dean  Bayou Brief 


The liberal arts are under attack: So why do the rich want their children to study them?  Washington Post

The value of a liberal arts education is more than most know  The Hill  


How Should Professors Respond When Students Ask for Accommodations?  Ed Surge 

Why One University Went All Out on Teaching Reading  Chronicle of Higher Ed


Why a New Kind of ‘Badge’ Stands Out From the Crowd  Chronicle of Higher Education

Aiding the Writing-Stalled Professor  Chronicle of Higher Education

Jury Trial for Caltech scholar who claimed he was fired for whistleblowing  Pasadena Now

Measure Up

There is no way to quite describe the feeling that I got when I sat down to eat with daughter at the school cafeteria for the first time. She looked up at me. It was a look that said she completely adored me just for being me. That just blew me away. She couldn't hardly sit still, or know what to do with her hands, as if she wanted to hug me.  There was a searching look as if to say, "Who am I?"  "Tell me who I am."

Fathers have a way of planting life mottos in the heads of their daughters.

"Measure Up!" is one of the most often heard. Perhaps it is never verbalized, but a daughter knows what's expected—and her attempts to live up to those expectations from her childhood result in her running her life by guilt. She ends up serving a motto instead of her creator. 

Stephen Goforth

Know your Perfectionist

A study measured three types of perfectionism: self-oriented, or a desire to be perfect; socially prescribed, or a desire to live up to others’ expectations; and other-oriented, or holding others to unrealistic standards. A person living with an other-oriented perfectionist might feel criticized by the perfectionist spouse for not doing household chores exactly the “right” way. Socially prescribed perfectionism is “My self-esteem is contingent on what other people think.”

Perfectionists tend to devalue their accomplishments, so that every time a goal is achieved, the high lasts only a short time, like “a gas tank with a hole in it.” 

There are also different ways perfectionism manifests. Some perfectionists are the sleeping-bag-toting self-flagellants, always pushing themselves forward. But others actually fall behind on work, unable to complete assignments unless they’re, well, perfect. Or they might self-sabotage, handicapping their performance ahead of time. They’re the ones partying until 2 a.m. the night before the final, so that when the C rolls in, there’s a ready excuse. Anything to avoid facing your own imperfections.

Olga Khazan writing in The Atlantic

The Growth Mindset

When people believe that failure is not a barometer of innate characteristics but rather view it as a step to success (a growth mindset), they are far more likely to put in the kinds of effort that will eventually lead to that success. By contrast, those who believe that success or failure is due to innate ability (a fixed mindset) can find that this leads to a fear of failure and a lack of effort.

Carl Hendrick writing in Aeon