The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
Becoming is superior to being - Paul Klee
The Nazis arrested Dietrich Bonhoeffer in 1943 for his work with the resistance. He had been warned not to speak publicly. He did anyway. They hung him in April of 1945. The book Ethics is a gathering of his notes for a book he intended to write on the subject. The notes were hidden away from the police in a garden. Here is a quote from it:
"Christ did not, like a moralist, love a theory of good, but He loved the real man. He was not, like a philosopher, interested in the 'universally valid,' but rather in that which is of help to the real and concrete human being. What worried him was not, like Kant, whether the 'maxim of an action can become a principle of general legislation', but whether my action is at this moment helping my neighbor become a man before God."
Criticism must be sympathetic, or it will completely miss the mark; but it must also be dispassionate and relentless. William Temple
Find what you are good at. Find what you have a passion for doing. People will pay you good money to do the things that fit within both of these circles. No one is going to be willing to pay for your "C minus" work (or not very much). So forget about bringing your "fours" up to "sixes" (on a scale of one to ten). Focus on getting your "eights "up to "nines" and your "nines" up to "tens." (A bit of an oversimplification.. but you get the idea).
Creative minds are rarely tidy. -John Gardner
1. Empathize with hurt feelings.
2. Reflect a genuine concern.
3. Offer a summary of the problem as you see it.
4. Be slow to give advice. Let the other person come to the best decisions themselves whenever possible.
5. Distinguish between causes and symptoms.
6. Keep confidences.
7. Wisely use questions. Especially open-ended and indirect questions. Use “why” sparingly.
8. Watch your body language.
9. Be willing to refer the person to someone else more qualified when the problem is beyond your abilities or knowledge.
10. Ask the person how he or she is doing a few days later. Let the person know you haven’t forgotten about them and you care. Their situation is important to you.
What you need to know to get started with Facebook Live International Journalists' Network
98 personal data points that Facebook uses to target ads to you Washington Post
Patience Is the Secret to Wealth and Health, Economists Suggest in a New Study Wall Street Journal
What’s the Matter With ‘Me’? Resistance to the personal object pronoun continues to rise Chronicle of Higher Ed
Reflections on the origin of the phrase "drink the Kool-Aid" Chronicle of Higher Ed
Learning to Write All Over Again Chronicle of Higher Ed
Thank Heavens for Email Clichés The Atlantic
Machine-to-Human Communication: Nobody Cares Chronicle of Higher Ed
Literature of the Forever War New York Times
Women are judged by the way they speak Economist
Study Finds More Faculty Diversity at Public Institutions Than at Private Ones Chronicle of Higher Ed
***BIG DATA / STATS
The 7 Steps of a Data Project Data Science
***THE BUSINESS OF MEDIA
P&G to Scale Back Targeted Facebook Ads citing limited effectiveness Wall Street Journal
***THE BUSINESS OF JOURNALISM
Law Professor to Students: Stop Calling Me by My First Name Wall Street Journal
Two Cheers for the Retraction Boom The New Atlantis
‘Does This Have to Go through the IRB?’ Chronicle of Higher Ed
Science editor-in-chief sounds alarm over falling public trust Times Higher Ed
The Obsession With Biblical Literalism: A Christian theme park in Kentucky brings the ancient to life through a life-sized reconstruction of Noah’s Ark—but not without dipping into fiction (opinion) The Atlantic
No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.
Read more here.
The cost of a thing is the amount of life that must be exchanged for it. -Henry David Thoreau
Chronic procrastination can feel like a character flaw, but a new study indicates that rather than lamenting your lack of will power, you can just blame your parents.
Researchers at the University of Colorado, Boulder, surveyed pairs of identical and fraternal twins about their tendency to procrastinate and to set and meet goals, and their level of impulsiveness. Identical twins were much more likely to match answers than fraternals, showing that genetics plays a significant role in forming these habits. “Learning more about the underpinnings of procrastination may help develop interventions to prevent it,” study author Daniel Gustavson tells NatureWorldNews.com.
Researchers also believe impulsiveness, which overlaps with procrastination tendencies, may have given our ancestors an evolutionary advantage by helping them focus on day-to-day survival rather than long-term goals. Procrastination could be a by-product of that thinking, showing how behavioral traits that evolved millennia ago can clash with the demands of modern life.
Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. -Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers)
If I waited to know “who I was” or “what I was about” before I started “being creative”, well, I’d still be sitting around trying to figure myself out instead of making things. In my experience, it’s in the act of making things that we figure out who we are.
Austin Kleon, How to Steal Like an Artist
A conclusion is often just the place where you got tired of thinking.
When you get depressed, it’s comforting to remember that deep inside you is a well of pain. This pain can help you. It’s a reservoir of self-knowledge and nourishment. When you’re able to welcome this pain, it can carry you out of depression into sorrow.
When depressed, you are merely numb and listless. But in sorrow, you feel the fine-grained texture of loss. Whereas depression diminishes our world, sorrow teaches you the true value of the things you mourn. Sorrow is the other side of joy—a dark, moist cradle of grief that slowly nourishes you, a solemn vigil that honors what you love. So the next time you are ensnared in darkness, cut through the gray armor of depression straight to the dark heart of sorrow.
Lost in depression, I am found in sorrow.
Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions
Circumstances are designed to make us aware of his presence. - Chuck Swindoll
The lesson of disenchantment begins with the discovery that if you want to change – really to change, and not just to switch positions – you must realize that some significant part of your old reality was in your head, not out there. The flawless parent, the noble leader, the perfect wife, and the utterly trustworthy friend are an inner cast of characters looking for actors to play the parts. One person is on the lookout for someone older and wiser, and another is seeking an admiring follower. And when they find each other they fit like the interlocking pieces of a puzzle.
Or almost. Actually, the misfit is greater than either person knows, or even wants to know. The thing that keep this misperception in place is an “enchantment,” a spell cast by the past on the present. Most of the time, these enchantments work fairly well, but at life’s turning points they break down. Almost inevitably, we feel cheated at such times, as though someone were trying to trick us. But usually the earlier enchanted view was as “real” as we could manage a the time. It corresponded to a self-image and a situation and it could not change without affecting ourselves and others.
William Bridges, Transitions
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried. –GK Chesterton
We're hardwired to make blunders and avoiding them requires nearly superhuman discipline. Four tendencies conspire to sabotage our decisions at critical moments:
We think we're smarter than we are, so we think the stocks we've chosen will deliver even when the market doesn't. When evidence contradicts us, we're blinded by...
We seek information that supports our actions and avoid information that doesn't. We interpret ambiguous evidence in our favor. We can cite an article that confirms our view but can't recall one that challenges it. Even when troubling evidence becomes unavoidable, we come up against...
STATUS QUO BIAS.
We like leaving things the way they are, even when doing so is objectively not the best course. Plenty of theories attempt to explain why, but the phenomenon is beyond dispute. And supposing we could somehow fight past these crippling biases, we'd still face the mother of all irrationalities in behavioral finance...
LOSS AVERSION (and its cousin, regret avoidance)
We hate losing more than we like winning, and we're terrified of doing something we'll regret. So we don't buy and sell when we should because maybe we'll realize a loss or miss out on a gain.
These tendencies are so deep-rooted that knowing all about them isn't nearly enough to extinguish them. The best we can do is wage lifelong war against them and hope to gain some ground.
Geoff Colvin (from his Fortune Magazine article "Investor March Madness: We're Wired for Blunders, but can Improve Odds")
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-J. R. R. Tolkien, "Lord of the Rings"
Parents who browbeat their kids into being obedient and agreeable may not be giving them the best preparation for the real world. A new study shows that encouraging teens to argue calmly and effectively against parental orders makes them much more likely to resist peer pressure.
University of Virginia researchers observed more than 150 13-year-olds as they disputed issues like grades, chores, and friends with their mothers. When researchers checked back in with the teens two and three years later, they found that those who had argued the longest and most convincingly—without yelling, whining, or throwing insults—were also 40 percent less likely to have accepted offers of drugs and alcohol than the teens who had caved quickly.
“We found that what a teen learned in handling these kinds of disagreements with their parents was exactly what they took into their peer world,” study author Joseph P. Allen tells NPR.org. The key to having a constructive debate with your kids, experts say, is listening to them attentively and rewarding them when they make a good point—even if you don’t end up reaching a mutual agreement. “Think of those arguments not as a nuisance,” Allen says, “but as a critical training ground” for wise, independent decision-making.