Each of us has something like a “Happiness 401(k)” that we invest in when we are young, and that we get to enjoy when we are old. And just as financial planners advise their clients to engage in specific behaviors—make your saving automatic; think twice before buying that boat—we can all teach ourselves to do some very specific things at any age to make our last decades much, much happier.

According to a Harvard study, the single most important trait of happy-well elders is healthy relationships. As Robert Waldinger, who directs the study, told me in an email, “Well-being can be built—and the best building blocks are good, warm relationships.”

Arthur C. Brooks, writing in The Atlantic

July 12, 2022

Who's Selling My Data?

July 12, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Pen America offers some help understanding how data brokers have so much personal information about you and how to get it removed.

July 12, 2022

the world is full of suffering

July 12, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. – Helen Keller

July 11, 2022

deDoxing Yourself

July 11, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

If you have concerns about your privacy, what information is available about you online, here is a short video to explain how to find some of that info through Google “dorking”, reverse image search, and Google alerts.

July 11, 2022

He Dropped Out to Become a Poet. Now He’s Won the top award for Mathematics

July 11, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

June Huh has been awarded the Fields Medal, the highest honor in mathematics, for his ability to wander through mathematical landscapes. One might say the same of his path into mathematics itself: that it was characterized by much wandering and a series of small miracles. When he was younger, Huh had no desire to be a mathematician. He was indifferent to the subject, and he dropped out of high school to become a poet. That poetic detour has since proved crucial to his mathematical breakthroughs. His artistry, according to his colleagues, is evident in the way he uncovers those just-right objects at the center of his work, and in the way he seeks a deeper significance in everything he does. “Mathematicians are a lot like artists in that really we’re looking for beauty,” said Federico Ardila-Mantilla, a mathematician at San Francisco State University and one of Huh’s collaborators. “But I think in his case, it’s really pronounced. And I just really like his taste. He makes beautiful things.”

Jordana Cepelewicz writing in Quanta Magazine

July 10, 2022

If God wants people to suffer

July 10, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

If God wants people to suffer, he sends them too much understanding. -Yiddish Proverb

July 09, 2022

It Costs

July 09, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Anyone can hate. It costs to love- John Williamson

July 08, 2022

The Magical Rose Garden

July 08, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today. -Dale Carnegie

July 07, 2022

Knowing our Limits & Tolerating those who Disagree

July 07, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

If we truely want to know, it sometimes means recognizing when we don't know. -David Dunning

July 07, 2022

You Need Two Things

July 07, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Building a genuine relationship with another person depends on at least two abilities. The first is seeing the world from another person's perspective. The second ability is being able to think about how you can collaborate with and help the other person rather than thinking about what you can get.

We're not suggesting that you be so saintly that a self-interested thought never crosses your mind. What we're saying is that your first move should always be to help. A study on negotiation found that a key difference between skilled and average negotiators was the time spent searching for shared interests and asking questions of the other person.

Follow that model. Start with a friendly gesture and genuinely mean it. Dale Carnegie's classic book on relationships, despite all its wisdom, has the unfortunate title How to Win Friends and Influence People. This makes Carnegie widely misunderstood. You don't "win" a friend. A friend is not an asset you own; a friend is an ally, a collaborator. When you can tell that someone is attempting sincerity, it leaves you cold. It is like the feeling you have when someone calls you by your first name repeatedly in conversation.

Reid Hoffman, The Start-Up of You

July 06, 2022

The value of video in news content has its limits

July 06, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Starting in 2015, many online media companies started “pivoting to video,” gutting their traditional newsrooms and spending large amounts of money to build video journalism operations from scratch. Part of the impetus for that pivot was metrics showing that audiences preferred video to text—metrics provided, in large part, by Facebook. In 2014, Facebook claimed that “Facebook has averaged more than 1 billion video views every day.” Those metrics turned out to be grossly inflated, by as much as 60 to 80 percent. Facebook and the like want more video to run ads in because it allows them to make more money. And by claiming that this is what "readers want," news media could be manipulated into creating more video.

Katharine Trendcosta & Mitch Stoltz writing for EFF

July 06, 2022

It is better

July 06, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

It is better to die well than to live badly. -Jan Hus (who was burned at the stake for heresy on July 6, 1415)

July 05, 2022

Tuesday Tech Tools: 17 Organizers

July 05, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Airtable
Manages projects and processes-weddings, movie shoots, companies, etc. Allows you to log entries in spreadsheets which can be turned into sets of data stored in the cloud. Some limitations you won’t find in tools like Trello. There’s a video explanation here.

Boomerang (formally Baydin)
Schedule Gmail or Outlook email for a later send date. Add-on for Firefox and Chrome. Free.

Buffer*
Popular social media scheduling service for posting to multiple sites at one time or later, including: Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest and Google+. Provides analytics. Free, but $10 (and up) a month gives you unlimited scheduling so you can plan your content well ahead of time.

Evernote*
Access notes on any computer, tablet or phone. Search function lets you find a note in either text or audio format. Free for iOS and Android. For more options there is Evernote Plus $2.99 a month, while Premium is $5.80 per month.

Freshbooks
A cloud-based accounting app that helps you manage clients and projects, send invoices, and track time, expenses, and estimates right from your iPhone. Best for running a business in which you have specific projects for different clients that involve billable hours. The first three clients are free; then $20 for up to 25 clients or $30 for unlimited clients per month.

Meetways
Find a halfway point between two locations. Great for setting up meetings between people.

Nozbe
Task management system. Organizes according to the context in which they are done (online, at the office, at home, etc.) . Designed with teams in mind-which could be as simple as sharing a shopping list. Available for most devices. Works with Google Calender. Monthly fee: $8 for a single user, $16 for a family, $40 for a team.

OmniOutliner
Mac program that keeps lists and organizes outlines. Low learning curve to create rich, multi-column, collapsible outlines in many styles. Add embedded notes, images, links, etc. $40 to buy the standard version, $70 for the pro model. An educational discount of $25 and $50 is available here.

Google Now
Tracks your online behavior and uses this data to predict the information that you will need, such as local traffic or weather updates.

PinBoard
Bookmark things you find in social media. One time $9.94 cost.

Podio
Social work platform for basic project management tasks — calendar, contacts, activity stream — that helps teams collaborate and communicate. Both free and paid versions.

Process Street
Document, manage, and track your workflows and business processes. Records tasks in templates – lists which show what tasks to do and what order to do them in. A video explanation here.

Scrivener*
App that gives you a single place to dump all your ideas. Especially helpful for creating and managing complex writing projects: writing a novel, play, TV show, magazine feature, etc. Write in fragments and then shuffle scenes/chapters in a "bulletin board" mode.. throw in research notes, multimedia files, and character sketches. Allows you to slowly "grow” books, scripts, and articles. Easy to convert the document to an e-book, web page, a PDF, or Word doc. Works with Mac and Windows. Free 30-use trial. $45 for the latest version. Many writers swear it's worth it. Doesn't work on iPads though.

Trello
Organizational tool that integrations with many other apps. Tasks or projects are stored in cards which are then arranged into columns.

TripIt
Organize all your travel plans into mobile itineraries.

Ulysses
Writing app for Mac. Uses plain text or Markdown for writing, but also includes notes, exporting, organization and more. $44.99.

WorkFlowy
Digital note taking app. Excellent design, but lacks due dates, reminders of upcoming deadlines and calendar view. Free version limits you to 500 lists or "items" per month. Pro accounts can be backed up to Dropbox. Individual pro accounts ($4.99 per month or $49 per year) and Team ($3.99 per month per user, or $39 per year per user, with a two user minimum) A short video introduction here.

More Tech Tools

July 05, 2022

When to Pivot

July 05, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

The common presumption is that you shift to Plan B when something isn’t working. That’s frequently the case but not always. What you’re doing now doesn’t have to be failing for it to make sense to shift.

Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha, The Startup of You

July 04, 2022

What you should prepare to do during job interviews

July 04, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Be prepared to answer:

What are your values, goals, weaknesses?
What don't you like to do?
What work environment do you NOT like?
What's your passion for life and career?
Describe yourself.

Before the interview:

Take deep breaths
Remember they want to find the right person, they want you to do well
Listen, eye contact, sit up straight, enthusiasm, confidence (sound authoritative)

The interview: 3 types

-Behavior-specific skills (ex: tell me about the time..)
-Case-specific problems (ex: here a business case for you to work through..)
-Stress (more than one interviewer firing questions, i.e. let's see how you do under stress)

The company:

Where do you see the co in the next 5 years?
How would you describe the atmosphere here? (formal or informal, etc)
How does the company support work-life balance?
Are things handled differently for in-office and hybrid workers?
How does the company determine salary levels?

The position:

Reason last person left? How long was she in that position?
What did you like about the last person in this position?
How many times has it turned over in the last 5 years? (if a lot, ask why)
Who do I report to? Who would work under me?
What are my responsibilities?
Describe a typical day.
Do you have a written job description (get a copy)
What is the potential for promotion?
What is the greatest challenge I will face?
What problems might I face in the job?
How would you describe your management style?
How soon do you hope to make a decision?
Can I take a tour of the facilities?
Why is this position available?
Do you have any hesitancy in hiring me?

Benefits:

Health benefits booklet?
holidays and vacations?
Do you have any “employee resource groups” (erg)?

"Thank you for meeting with me."

July 04, 2022

How We Approach Failure

July 04, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Current research suggests that we can approach failure with different mindsets, specifically a “growth mindset” or “fixed mindset”:

· A fixed mindset holds the belief that we all possess specific skills and talents, and that no matter how much effort we apply, we can’t change that potential. Possession of a fixed mindset means any struggle or failure is attributed to one’s incapacity for growth.

· A growth mindset holds the belief that we all have unbounded potential for growth and evolution. It makes the simple act of trying enough to move things forward. Failure is simply a pitstop where you refuel your journey and redirect your approach.

The way you interpret failure determines whether or not you keep showing up and doing the work, or whether you shut down and give up.

It also impacts the risks and opportunities that we might take to achieve success. If you believe that there are not enough opportunities or resources out there for you, then taking a risk or making a mistake can feel like a big disappointment.

Jenny Wang writing in CNBC

July 02, 2022

The Lonely Generation

July 02, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Millennials are the loneliest generation. That’s the finding of a YouGov survey. Nearly a third of Millennials say they always or often feel lonely. More Millennials say they have no friends than any other generation, according to the survey (no best friends 30%, no close friends 27%, no friends 22%, and no acquaintances 25%).

Excessive social media use may be just one of the reasons some Americans are feeling isolated. The survey suggests shyness and a lack of hobbies contributes to the lack of friends.

Happiness + Courage

July 01, 2022/ Stephen Goforth

Happiness is not enough to insure a fulfilling life. It is imperative to have courage, not merely happiness. To be fulfilling, happiness must derive from the courage that leads one to face stressful circumstances and to do the necessary hard work of transforming them from potential disasters into growth opportunities.

One particularly relevant study by my research team and me showed that hardiness was more effective than optimism (happiness) in helping people cope with stresses by growing through them, rather than stagnating. This showed how happiness, devoid of courage, can be laced with naive complacency.

Salvatore R. Maddi