Measure Up!

There is no way to quite describe the feeling that I got when I sat down to eat with my daughter at the school cafeteria for the first time. She looked up at me, and well, it was a look that said she completely adored me. That just blew me away. She couldn't hardly sit still or know what to do with her hands, as if she wanted to hug me. She had a searching look on her face, as if to say, "Who am I?"  "Tell me who I am."

Fathers have a way of planting life mottos in their daughters' heads. 

"Measure Up!" is one of the most often heard mottos. Perhaps it is never said out loud, but a daughter knows what's expected — and her attempts to live up to those expectations from her childhood can result in her running her life by guilt. She ends up serving a motto rather than fully becoming herself.  

Writing your Own Eulogy

A visualization technique that asks people to write their own eulogy. It’s a technique that Daniel Harkavy, co-author of Living Forward, has been teaching executives for over 20 years.

Harkavy’s tip is to write your eulogy first as if your funeral was today and everything you’ve accomplished so far was all you ever would. “Picture your memorial service as if it were being held right now. Your casket is sitting center stage, and as you look down the center aisle you see the first three rows, usually reserved for those with whom we were closest. Who’s sitting there for you?” he asks. “Most likely your family and dearest friends. Now keep looking down the aisle, and now you’re looking at rows 10 through 20. Who’s sitting there? Probably acquaintances, clients, customers. What did you give to the people in these rows?”

Harkavy says when he walks clients through this exercise during his speaking engagements, they usually all say the same thing: “We gave them our best!” He then asks them what they gave to the people sitting in rows one through three–and their answers usually amount to “We gave them our leftovers.” In other words, their work-life balance is out of whack.

“When you go to write your eulogy, you need to be brutally honest. Don’t pull any punches. You want to really feel this,” Harkavy says. “What would those closest to you say about who you were, how you lived, and what you had to give them, and why would they say that?”

Michael Grothaus writing in Fast Company

Love's advice to his younger self

Robert Love offers this advice to his 16-year-old self in The Week magazine:

Dear Bob: Would you like some advice from the older you? Turn the volume down to 10 and the SPF up to 30. Be patient with yourself and those who cross your path. Cherish your friends and family; you will miss them soon enough. Don’t feel too bad if you never seem to understand the girl in your life. There are mysteries that will never be solved. Most of all, never lose your curiosity. It will guide you to a career and a calling and bring you into the company of others who are wildly curious about the world and how it works. Believe me, there is no better place to be.