When Children Ask “Why?”

Children not only need to hear our conclusions, but they also need to know the thought process that got us to those conclusions. They need context. Offering only orders and rules is not teaching.

It's hard work to articulate the why. Some parents hesitate out of fear. Perhaps they will discover our secret weaknesses or find flaws in our reasoning. Rather than hiding our imperfections, if we let them know we are fallible as they are, we share with them a common bond and an authentic honesty. Rather than just opening their heads and pouring in our truths, we can help them make the marvelous discovery that they have something to contribute to our lives as well. We are fellow strugglers, learning how to live right in a confusing and challenging world.

Stephen Goforth

Boredom and Cowardice

Teenagers and their younger siblings grow bored quickly. It's their job to figure out how not to be bored.

Life is filled with dull meetings and duller people and many empty moments. Either you hate a large part of your duties in life or you figure out ways to make that time interesting. Boredom is a wake-up call for us to get involved in process of life. 

Scott Peck wrote in The Road Less Traveled, "Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs." Embracing what we are handed and turning it into something worthwhile is a lifelong struggle.  

It isn't the parents' job to keep children entertained. The kids' job is to take charge of their own situation and figure out what captivates them. Parents just need to provide opportunities and a sense of direction to help kids discover what works.

If we are not in the hunt for the compelling, we will certainly be miserable people. Many escape attempts from the dullness of life that can temporarily distract us. It takes something meaningful and awe-filling to engage us over the long run.

Stephen Goforth