Unleashing Change

Allow a sense of pragmatism to hang over every project. This will help to make room for other possibilities besides our originally chosen path. If you fall in love with your creation and marry your effort, you may join the most frustrated of groups--people who fight the process rather than allowing their efforts to become living documents of creativity, which are always in process. You have to make room in your head for change to be a part of that process rather than seeing it as something extra, a burden beyond what is necessary. Make room for change before you start your task and then you'll be ready to adopt to shifting circumstances, new revelations, and emerging goals.

 

Stephen Goforth

Depressing as an excuse

We often use depressing as an excuse for not doing something we don’t want to do or afraid to do. When someone suggests that we go ahead and do whatever we are trying to avoid, we usually agree and say, “I think you’re right, but I’m just to upset right now to do it.” For example, your company is downsizing and you lose a good job through no fault of your own. You tell me what happened and how depressed you are. I try not to pay much attention to your depressing. Instead, I say, “I know it’s hard, but don’t sit around; get out your resume.”

But you are depressing for a good reason. You have just been laid off and feel rejected, even though it was not your fault. You are afraid of another rejection, of facing the fact that there may be no good jobs for you at your age and with your experience. As painful as depressing is, it’s less painful at this time than looking for job and getting rejected again and again.

William Glasser, Choice Theory

Creating your own misery

As long as you live in a society with other fallible humans you will be frustrated and hassled - not merely occasionally - all of your life. The best way to avoid feeling miserable about virtually anything that will ever occur in your lifetime is to admit that you create your own misery.

(Irrational beliefs that interfere with emotional health include..)

  • I must do well... win the approval of others... or else I will rate as a rotten person.
  • Others must treat me with considerately and kindly... Other people must not behave incompetently or stupidly.
  • The world (and the people in it) must arrange the conditions under which I live so that I get what I want when I want it.

Albert Ellis

Time to stop looking for signals and start acting

The more information we sift through, the more nuggets of truth we are likely to uncover. But this also means we raise the level of noise that we must cut through in order to find those nuggets. We don’t do a very good job of regulating our intake of information. In our hunt for certainty we assume more is better. We consume a ton of noise to gain an added ounce of signal. Picking a  time to stop gathering and start acting is critical to avoid paralysis and stagnation.

Stephen Goforth