Social Media’s Outrage Mob

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So what is it about social media that transforms ordinary internet users into pitchfork-wielding villagers? Futurologist David Brin notes that feelings of righteous indignation can give people a drug-like high. “You go into the bathroom during one of these [indignant] snits,” he says, “and you look in the mirror and you have to admit, this feels great! ‘I am so much smarter and better than my enemies!’” Everyone can now get an instant, ego-boosting high by opening their computer or smartphone and joining in the online shaming of a perceived offender. But they haven’t made the world any better. All they’ve done is made a stranger’s life a little worse.

Theunis Bates writing in The Week Magazine

selling out

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We "sell out" whenever we fail to take ownership over who we are. It's much easier to default to the expectations of friends/work/society/church rather than taking responsibility for our thinking and actions. It's a "sell out" in the sense of turning control over to someone/something else when we fail to take ownership over what God has entrusted us with.

Stephen Goforth

The Advantage of Disadvantages

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The big dream in our society is that if we work hard enough, we will eventually be able to experience a life without limitations or difficulties. It is also one of the biggest sources of friction in our society, creating disappointment, unnecessary suffering, and missed opportunities to live a full life. Some people spend their entire life waiting for that which will never, and can never, happen.

Limitations are not necessarily negative. In fact, I’m beginning to believe that they can give life definition, clarity and freedom. We are called to a freedom of and in limitations—not from. ...Unrestricted water is a swamp—because it lacks restriction, it also lacks depth.

The conclusion we arrive at all depends upon how we look at our limitations. Consider this late-night phone call I received one night. The voice on the other end inquired with great enthusiasm: “What does it mean for a horse to be handicapped!”

She hadn't identified herself, but I knew who it was. Leigh is a very special friend, and we’ve been through much together. She not only suffers from severe cerebral palsy, but has faced other, sometimes even more severe, difficulties- like losing her family at an age too young. Her feistiness and tenacity are not only her hallmarks, but are a contagious influence on us all.

I responded to her question, “Well, Leigh, I’m not exactly into horse racing, but as far as I understand they usually handicap the strongest horse by adding a little extra weight to make the race more fair."

"Yeah, I know!”

The she asked: “What does it mean if you handicap a golfer?”

Well, Leigh- again, I’m not really sure. But as far as I understand the rules, they handicap the best in order to make the game more exciting. The better the golfer, the larger his handicap.”

“Yeah, I know. And what does it mean when a bowler is handicapped?”

After we explored a number of sports, always reaching the same conclusion, there was a rather long pause. Then she said, with bold simplicity. “That’s it!”

That’s what, Leigh?” I replied, not understanding.

“That’s it! That’s why God gave me such a big handicap.. because I’m so special!”

It was one of the finest statement for tenacious dignity in spite of circumstance that I have ever heard.

Tim Hansel, You Gotta Keep Dancin’

Minding the nurture gap

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Upbringing affects opportunity. Upper-middle-class homes are not only richer (with two professional incomes) and more stable; they are also more nurturing. In the 1970s there were practically no class differences in the amount of time that parents spent talking, reading and playing with toddlers. Now the children of college-educated parents receive 50% more of what Robert Putnam calls “Goodnight Moon” time (after a popular book for infants).

(Putnam reports in his book “Our Kids” that) educated parents engage in a non-stop Socratic dialogue with their children, helping them to make up their own minds about right and wrong, true and false, wise and foolish. This is exhausting, so it helps to have a reliable spouse with whom to share the burden, not to mention cleaners, nannies and cash for trips to the theatre.

Working-class parents, who have less spare capacity, are more likely to demand that their kids simply obey them. In the short run this saves time; in the long run it prevents the kids from learning to organise their own lives or think for themselves. Poor parenting is thus a barrier to social mobility, and is becoming more so as the world grows more complex and the rewards for superior cognitive skills increase.

The Economist

Popular People Live Longer (sort of)

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Dozens of studies reveal that children’s popularity can be measured reliably by age 3, and it remains remarkably stable not just through the next dozen years of primary and secondary education but also across contexts, as they move from community to community and into adulthood.

Yet this same research reveals that there is more than one type of popularity, and most of us may be investing in the wrong kind. Likability reflects kindness, benevolent leadership and selfless, prosocial behavior. Research suggests that this form of popularity offers lifelong advantages, and leads to relationships that confer the greatest health benefits.

Likability is markedly different from status — an ultimately less satisfying form of popularity that reflects visibility, influence, power and prestige. Status can be quantified by social media followers; likability cannot.

Anyone who has been to high school will recognize the distinction — and recall that those high in one category are often low in the other. Research suggests that despite the great temptations to gain status, those who achieve it ultimately experience greater unhappiness and dissatisfaction, while those who are likable have far greater satisfaction and success.

We may be built by evolution to care deeply about popularity, but it’s up to us to choose the nature of the relationships we want with our peers.

Which means that it wouldn’t kill you to step away from Twitter once in a while.

Mitch Prinstein writing in the New York Times

Somewhere between boredom and anxiety

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A comfortable routine can turn on us, leaving our creativity stifled, dulling us to other possibilities. We become lethargic, sleepwalking through life. Boredom soon nips at our heels.

At the other end of the experience spectrum, we have bungee-jumping thrill seekers. Tired of sexual escapades and rock climbing, they sometimes self-medicate to starve off boredom. Drugs can stimulate many feelings: euphoria, depression, anxiety, even fear. But none induce boredom (though some, like cocaine, can leave the user with a devastating boredom, after the drug has done its thing). Sex, food, drugs, and gambling each stimulate the same dopamine reward pathway in the brain.

Psychologists tell us the cure for chronic tedium is not high-sensation thrills. Somewhere between boredom and anxiety there is a sweet spot called flow. It's an optimal level of arousal. As Dr. Richard Friedman writes:

Flow happens when a person’s skills and talent perfectly match the challenge of an activity: playing in the zone, where there is total and un-self-conscious absorption in the activity. Make the task too challenging and anxiety results; make it too easy and boredom emerges.  Flow get to the heart of fun. It’s not hard to see why the enforced tranquility of a Caribbean vacation could be a dreadful bore for a workaholic but bliss for a couch potato: temperament, as well as talent, have to match the activity or there is trouble in paradise.

Stephen Goforth

hamburgers cause traffic accidents

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Most people who die in car crashes have eaten a hamburger less than a week before the tragic event cuts their lives short. Does this mean eating hamburgers cause traffic accidents? Nope. A connection between the two events has to be established before you can unfurl and plant the “cause and effect” flag.

That's why, when it comes to medical issues, there needs to be numerous studies pointing in the same direction. Studies with mixed results suggest there could be other causes at work besides the one we are investigating.

Consider this: Rich people may live longer because they have access to better health care. Do they live longer because they are rich? Well, sort of. That's what gives them access to the better health care.

The whole cause/effect thing gets especially confusing when things happen around the same time frame. We have a natural desire to tie them together with a big bow. Remember the saying about “trouble coming in threes”? When we begin looking for groups of three, we tend to remember those times when our hypothesis was confirmed. We think it’s true because we don’t notice or simply discount situations when life didn’t fit with our triplet theory.

Stephen Goforth

Let it Go

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You've suffered unjustly. Passed over for the promotion. Mistreated by a spouse. Disrespected by a co-worker, fellow student, or even a member of your church.

Perhaps you lie in bed at night imagining detailed conversations with someone who's wronged you. You daydream about getting back at them. You conspire, hoping to discover ways to embarrass those who've treated you unfairly.

Let go of your bitterness and desire for retaliation.

Romans 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: " Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

It is not your job to exact revenge. That's God's responsibility. And he does not need our help doing it. If you hoard hatred and bitterness toward those who have hurt you, the injury will only deepened and hurt you even more. Those around you will suffer as well. Bitterness is a poison that spills over into our relationships. Don’t allow the people who have hurt you keep on doing so.

Stephen Goforth